I still remember some one at a ICF women's meeting say 'When we pray for our children, let us pray for 'understanding' for them over wisdom and knowledge'
I never quiet understood it! I thought wisdom was equally important. I guess in a way it is.
We as parents can be so foolish! Last Saturday we went for Bible study and in an effort to get to church in HSR layout spent 1.5 hours in the car. Twice the time it normally takes for us to get there. 7 pm Saturday evening turns out to be prime time in Bangalore as we have learnt from our second experience. We have decided it may not be worth it to venture out again on a Saturday evening. Isaac sat quietly in back seat for the entire 1 and 1/2 hr. We forgot to take something to entertain him with. But he did not whine at all in the car. We got off at church and the first thing he asked 'Amma I want animals on your phone' This is an android software that has the ABC's with some animal pictures. In my utter foolishness I just gave it to him. I wanted to listen to bible study. Isaac spent about an hour playing with the phone at the end of which the battery died!
Chaos broke lose and we were nowhere near the end of bible study. I looked desperately at Suresh. I knew he would be on the verge of disciplining Isaac had I not pleaded leniency the previous week for Isaac. Isaac does not seem to have much company or fun in church. While Ziva still being a toddler gets attention and played with, Isaac watches this and gets a little jealous. We also cannot expect a pre-schooler to sit for 1.5 hrs in a car and than another 1.5 hours in church with zero to nil entertainment while I am sure he rather be at the park playing with sand and his buddies. So I have pleaded with Suresh that while at church no 'vadi'. But try to put ourselves in his shoes and give him instruction to get out of his boredom and TANTRUM.
3 year old tantrums are hard. He started running in small circles around us and wailing pretty loudly. Suresh took him out once and tried to reason with his three year old brain. But it did not sink. So we picked up our bags and as failed parents quickly exited.
We drove home in silence. Isaac already seemed in a better mood and even ate an excellent dinner at 10:30 pm!
Suresh and I woke up early on Sunday morning and started to scheme a new parenting plan.
1. Fools: My foolishness had to be corrected. We vouched that we would not use our phones in church again. We have been using the bible on our phones and I bet Isaac has been watching us and imagining we are playing with his games! NO PHONES. No phones at the dining table or in the car or anywhere else. We cannot afford to have a 3 year old addicted to a phone software
2. Talk talk... talk: We prepped Isaac all Sunday morning on how church was about worship and songs and prayer. We told him he was not going to play with his friends. He seemed to have that expectation and when it was dashed by older kids who obviously had their own games that he could not be part of, he got annoyed at being left out. We talked to him about not crying. And we both prayed!
3. Listen listen ... listen: Isaac did very well at church. He sat next to Suresh as he played the drums. He did not cry or demand anything (except my phone!). He went for Sunday school and came back very excited talking about Abraham! About 1/2 hr after church while we were having our conversations with other adults, Isaac said 'I want to go home'. Some 10 minutes later 'Appa, please I want to go home'. We picked up our bags and packed off. Children have a limit to and we cannot keep pushing them and except them to behave. I hope over time Isaac's time-limit will increase.
Wisdom to raise our children ...wisdom to not give into strange request such as the Phone!
Understanding to know their need for instruction!
I never quiet understood it! I thought wisdom was equally important. I guess in a way it is.
We as parents can be so foolish! Last Saturday we went for Bible study and in an effort to get to church in HSR layout spent 1.5 hours in the car. Twice the time it normally takes for us to get there. 7 pm Saturday evening turns out to be prime time in Bangalore as we have learnt from our second experience. We have decided it may not be worth it to venture out again on a Saturday evening. Isaac sat quietly in back seat for the entire 1 and 1/2 hr. We forgot to take something to entertain him with. But he did not whine at all in the car. We got off at church and the first thing he asked 'Amma I want animals on your phone' This is an android software that has the ABC's with some animal pictures. In my utter foolishness I just gave it to him. I wanted to listen to bible study. Isaac spent about an hour playing with the phone at the end of which the battery died!
Chaos broke lose and we were nowhere near the end of bible study. I looked desperately at Suresh. I knew he would be on the verge of disciplining Isaac had I not pleaded leniency the previous week for Isaac. Isaac does not seem to have much company or fun in church. While Ziva still being a toddler gets attention and played with, Isaac watches this and gets a little jealous. We also cannot expect a pre-schooler to sit for 1.5 hrs in a car and than another 1.5 hours in church with zero to nil entertainment while I am sure he rather be at the park playing with sand and his buddies. So I have pleaded with Suresh that while at church no 'vadi'. But try to put ourselves in his shoes and give him instruction to get out of his boredom and TANTRUM.
3 year old tantrums are hard. He started running in small circles around us and wailing pretty loudly. Suresh took him out once and tried to reason with his three year old brain. But it did not sink. So we picked up our bags and as failed parents quickly exited.
We drove home in silence. Isaac already seemed in a better mood and even ate an excellent dinner at 10:30 pm!
Suresh and I woke up early on Sunday morning and started to scheme a new parenting plan.
1. Fools: My foolishness had to be corrected. We vouched that we would not use our phones in church again. We have been using the bible on our phones and I bet Isaac has been watching us and imagining we are playing with his games! NO PHONES. No phones at the dining table or in the car or anywhere else. We cannot afford to have a 3 year old addicted to a phone software
2. Talk talk... talk: We prepped Isaac all Sunday morning on how church was about worship and songs and prayer. We told him he was not going to play with his friends. He seemed to have that expectation and when it was dashed by older kids who obviously had their own games that he could not be part of, he got annoyed at being left out. We talked to him about not crying. And we both prayed!
3. Listen listen ... listen: Isaac did very well at church. He sat next to Suresh as he played the drums. He did not cry or demand anything (except my phone!). He went for Sunday school and came back very excited talking about Abraham! About 1/2 hr after church while we were having our conversations with other adults, Isaac said 'I want to go home'. Some 10 minutes later 'Appa, please I want to go home'. We picked up our bags and packed off. Children have a limit to and we cannot keep pushing them and except them to behave. I hope over time Isaac's time-limit will increase.
Wisdom to raise our children ...wisdom to not give into strange request such as the Phone!
Understanding to know their need for instruction!
So true, Rohini. I've found out (the hard way!) that it's so important to listen to our kids instead of constantly talking to them.
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