What's in a name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

I actually disagree with the above statement.... I think there is everything in a name... Because when I just hear the word 'rose' ... I can smell its sweetness

We (Suresh and I) have reached a season in our lives where we are yet again at a point of name squabbling. Suresh has graciously and like a true gentleman put down his sword and said ..'Its pointless ... Rohini's choice is going to prevail!' ... Either he has given up on me or he totally loves how Isaac's name matches his personality. And how the sound of the name Isaac makes us both 'laugh'. {Isaac - Hebrew for Laughter}

Time for a flash back. Also a good note for Isaac to read years down the line on how we came up with 'Isaac George Joel'.

Isaac was born to us after 6.5 years of marriage. I had given up. I thought I would never bear a child. I was ok with the thought of it. When lo and behold we are blessed. We were blessed not just to conceive a child ... but an awesome pregnancy.

I remember the days of squabbling with Suresh. In his mind he had the name 'Jacob' and of course the first thought that goes across my mind is 'deceiver'? Of course Jacob redeems himself as you keep reading the old testament. But still. I had two names in my mind 'Samuel' and 'Isaac'. Both were born to parents after a long wait. Both were born to mothers who had spent a great deal of time crying for them. Samuel was thrown out of the window, I cannot remember why now. And so we were left with Isaac and Jacob. Father and son :)

We came home one day after church and I remember someone at church had mentioned that my son would be exactly like my father-in-law. We had recently lost my dad-in-law and though we do not believe in reincarnation... someone had been silly enough to say something like that. Now do not get me wrong, I love my dad-in-law... but I had also lost my father recently and girls are always daddy's little girls and so I was thinking... well why not have some of my dad's characteristics ... after all gene-wise ... it comes from both sides. I came home and was probably so hormonal that I started crying... In the midst of tears I told Suresh I wanted my dad's name as part of my son's name and I wanted his dads name too. And then in the midst of this unseasonal shower of tears .. I asked him what was wrong with the name Isaac. The poor dude was caught so off guard that he didn't see it all coming!

And so it came to be Isaac George (After my dad) Joel (after Suresh's dad). Isaac is true to his name. He is currently going through his shy phase where he take a while to warm up to a stranger. But on the whole, he brings laughter to us. He never wakes up crying. In fact there are days that through the baby monitor we hear him whispering to himself when he wakes up... but no cries. I remember when we went to India at age 4 months for Isaac, my sister picked him up once and said 'Look at this boy ... true to his name' and he had the cutest grin on his face. He is now showing some amount of stubborn behavior which could be one of three things

1. Age

2. Grandpa Joel and George or

3. Mom and dad

We are thankful to God for blessing us with laughter and now blessing us again.

Time to put on the armor to fight Suresh for the name!

Its all in the name!

A Flurry of Words

A - B - C - D - E - F - G
H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P
Q - R - S - T - U and V,
W - X - Y and Z
Now I know my A - B - C's
Next time won't you sing with me?

My boy is now 16 months. And he shows off all his 16 months.
At 12 months the only word he said was ‘balla’ – which meant Ball. His favorite thing in the world! Anything round was meant to be thrown in hopes it would bounce back or kicked in hopes it won't hurt his leg!

And then suddenly one day – it all just came out --- so many words … so much talking.
He now recognizes a lot of animals and can say the name of most common wild and domestic animals. Titer= tiger … hipp=Hippo .. hoose=horse … quack=duck … birth=bird. But the best one is Golla=gorilla. He loves his golla, that now takes a bath with him.

If you ask him ‘Whats your name?’ he has a broad grin and taps his chest with a proud ‘Ittach’.

He recognizes and names body parts and they sound so cute. Nsss= Nose … iys=Eyes …tteeh =teeth …toss=toes. If I ask him ‘Isaac where are your cheeks?’ he uses it as an opportunity to pinch mine with a chickss. He chooses the moment we are rocking him to sleep to identify our iys and nsss! If I say ‘Isaac where’s your bumboos’ He taps his tushy with both hands and says bumboo.

He loves his vegetables and has learnt to ask for them by name brocco =broccoli, mussshoom=mushroom, toyoto=tomato. Anything on the stovetop is patta=pasta which he loves eating. It could be rice or noodles or pasta. He calls all of them pasta and is happy to gobble them down. He has a new found love called dosa and much like his dad loves eating dosa with podi (spicy dal mixed with gingely oil).

He is learning that repeating what we say makes us laugh and he loves to make us laugh. We have been telling him to ‘go back’ from the TV and he now repeats gobak… gobak. He loves going to the basement to play on his Appa’s keyboard and will let you know his interest godumm = go down. I called him a drama king the other day and he instantly said dama.

The first thing he asks for in the morning is chocco=chocolate milk. In 5 seconds he gets distracted by the cereal box (seerea in his vocabulary) in the pantry and the next thing you know he is picking up cranberry (canbeee) and gobbling them down moving away the cereal.

The most exciting part of his day is watching the kids get on the school bus. There are three buses that come close by where we live. Each time we say ‘Isaac, school bus’ … he runs to the window (he now knows which one gives him the best view of the blinking lights) while repeating koobus.

He hates us brushing his teeth. But give it into his hand and he knows exactly what to do with it and enjoys it. Toobush=toothbrush




Suresh mentions a poem in Tamil (by an ancient poet) his dad liked a lot that goes something like this
Kuzhal inidhu {The flute is sweet}
Yaazh inidhu {The veena is Sweet}
Enbar .. { So they say}
Tham makkal {Their children’s}
Mazhalaichchol {Sweet talk … broken talk}
Kelaa thavar {Who have not heard}

Translation
Speaking of the sound of flute and the harp as sweet tones are people who have not heard their little children’s prattle or lisping.


Proverbs 22:6 (King James Version)
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The odd couple

I’m a believer - Monkees

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

Then I saw his face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave him if I tried.

That’s what I call Suresh and me. We are definitely the odd couple. Why do I say that because we are poles apart.

He is calm and composed. I am irrational.

His idea of a vacation is museum hopping in London. Mine is a book … a beach and nothing to do!

He loves traveling. I wouldn’t care going more than a few miles away from home.

He likes short stories. I like big fat multiple chapter books. (I haven’t read one in ages!)

He loves animals. I would rather have a stuffed toy!

We recently celebrated 8 years of marriage. Seems like a long time – 8. But then you meet people who have been married 18 and 50 years and you think – Wow – we’re young!

It seems like a good time to think back on how we met … what made us think we would be able to live together … and how we survived the past 8 years.

Suresh and I met on August 16 2000 (We argue about the date – but I am pretty sure I am correct – ok Maybe it was the August 17 2000).

First impression: I thought he was a geek. Reason he was dropped off by his uncle and he just had the look of GEEK stamped on his face.

He thought I was his soon to be roommate’s girlfriend. Reason: his roommate had picked me up from the airport and I was hanging out at their place.

Second impression: He thought I was a snob because I refused to smile at him at the International student orientation.

I thought: what a typical desi – since he was very late for the orientation. (Suresh ... Late ... Yikes!)

Third impression: I thought: The geek is sitting across me at the Graduate Student Orientation … when I hear ‘Yuck’ and a burger flung back on his plate. ‘This thing is tasteless!’ Little did I know that I would have to endure the next 10 years walking around with Sirachi sauce in my purse!

He says: ‘Are you Christian? Where are you going to Church tomorrow?’ (I call that his pick up line!)

We met the next day and walked all up and down Franklin Street because there were a gazillion churches in that small little neighborhood. We became the best of pals for the next 6 months. We attended Physiology and Signal processing class together. Imitated our professors. Studied together. Spent hours over frustrating homework.

And then sometime after that … We knew! It is good to be married to my best pal. It is also annoying sometimes since he still smacks me on my head in public – lovingly of course – but still!

So why do I bring this up now. We have recently started a couples/young families gathering at our fellowship. It is a good time of fellowship and fun. But for me personally it is a time to visit my relationship with my husband. I have seen many troubled martial relationships in close view. And just because ours in a ‘Love Marriage’ (as Indian aunties and uncles will ostracize) it is not free from issues. The devil creeps into a marriage without you even realizing. But for that reason it is good that the person I go to – to shed my tears about my husband is my best friend – i.e. my husband.

The last couple’s meeting we had on January 22^nd was very important to me. Not because of what was said at the meeting. But because of the conversation after the meeting in the car that Suresh and I had. The meeting was about the husband’s responsibility to love his wife unconditionally and the wife’s responsibility to submit to her husband. There was something said at the meeting that made me uncomfortable. I did not pick it up to discuss there. But as we got into the car and were driving away I spoke to Suresh and he immediately said ‘I knew you would be thinking about this!’ It is annoying to have a husband who can practically read your mind (annoying in a good way). So I asked him ‘Am I not submitting to you by making these choices?’

Suresh’s answer blew me away ‘Submission for a wife is difficult when the husband does not love her unconditionally. When he does love her unconditionally submission is not longer an issue!’ It is so true – My personality shows very strong traits of stubbornness and adamancy. Like most people I like to have my way! But listening to Suresh and doing as he says has never been hard for me. I guess unconditional love and submission are like a vicious circle. i.e a husband who feels his wife is not submissive does not love her unconditionally. Similarly a wife who feels like her husband does not love her is not being submissive.

As I was writing this note I was thinking of moments in my life where I have been submissive and where Suresh has shown unconditional love. One example each --

Suresh showed unconditional love when he left his perfectly wonderful (and I must say well paying) job at Richmond picked up and followed me to Maryland because he thought the move was good for my career.

My submission. His name is Danny and he is our 5 and half year old dog who I am still learning to love! I am not a big animal person. But I am learning they aren’t so bad! (Deep breath – For Suresh!)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens;

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens;
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens;
Brown paper packages tied up with strings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

... actually none of these are my favorite things ... But my mom just returned from India. In her bag were tons of goodies ... clothes, snacks, sweets etc. In the night we tried on Isaac one particular hoodie that his 'Velliamma' (my older sister) sent for him. It was nice and comfy. As I picked him up to rock him to sleep - I took one deep breath of this new hoodie he was wearing.

It smelt like my parents 'cupboard' (Thats what we call closets in India). Probably the smell of the wood that was used to make the cupboard. It smelt like ... old days ... it smelt like my dad's shirts and my mom's sarees ... it smelt familiar ... it smelt like I had to go back to India right now.

So in no particular order - my brain started thinking of my 'favorite' things.

The smell of clothes kept in the 'cupboard' in India

Overnight train journeys .. Love sleeping on those 'births'

Lime rice and crispy fried chicken .. which only tastes its best on the overnight train journeys

The sound of keys jiggling outside the door as my dad got ready to open the door

Cotton mattresses on wooden beds!

The cool breeze after the first rain after a hot summer

The sound of the 'ALWAYE' bridge as the train crossed it.. It meant we were close to home!

The sight of the familiar house as you turned the corner of the bumpy road to grandparents home.

Walking on marble floors without socks

Wet jeans from the knee down during the monsoons

Stitched clothes - I do not like ready-made too much since they never fit me right and my sister manages to find the best tailors in town

Bhel puri wrapped in old newspaper

Mallu weddings -- they are the best .. the noise.. the chaos .. the driver with the lack of direction taking the wedding party to the wrong church .. o yea it happened!

Colorful clothes

Indian pizza with the tandoori chicken

Nieces!

Swimming in the pond in Kerala

October 16 2009 :)

Power cuts! Even though I curse them when they happen - You just realize how much time you spend with each other talking when there are not numerous other things to distract you

Grandparents

Sizzlers!

Tours (thats what we called vacations in Kerala when a family rents out a 20 passengers and sets out from Munnar to Kanya Kumari!)

Riding the Kinetic Honda

Gorai Beach

Grad School

I do not think it will ever stop!

But I'm sad to say, I'm on my way Won't be back for many a day

But I'm sad to say, I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down, my head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Sounds of laughter everywhere

And the dancing girls swaying to and fro

I must declare that my heart is there

Though I've been from Maine to Mexico

That's the song Suresh and I sang as we boarded the flight from Tampa, Florida to come back to Baltimore, Maryland.

Reasons for being sad

1. 70 F in Tampa , 28 F when we landed in Baltimore

2. Vacation .. Vacation ... Vacation

3. Leaving behind a little girl called Anna and her Amma and Appa

Camping - Loft Mountain 2006

Its fun to go on vacations. Its more fun when you go to meet cousins. Its even more fun when the cousin is like a sibling! Suresh and I spent a week (Suresh will correct me at this point and say - 8 days) in Tampa, Fl with my cousin Reshma, her hubby Aby and bubbly little Anna all of two years.

Reshma and I have practically grown up together. We spent every single summer together since I was 13 and she was 11. Before that she and her family visited every year from Dubai. It was the most fun time. I still remember sincerely praying to God to let it rain hard so that the schools would close so I could spend the day at home with my cuuzzzin. She is what I call my best friend/cousin.

Reshma, Suresh and I - James River 2006

It’s also nice that the co-brothers get along well and have similar interests.. e.g. Getting their wives off the couch :). Before the kidlings were not born and we hung out - it was hard to calm Aby and Suresh to sit at home. Hiking, Camping, Sking, Canoeing, Kayaking, Theme parks etc. Anything in the vicinity that would take Reshma and me away from our Malayalam movie were schemed by the co-brothers. They both also loved looking at the map to the 'point of interest' in much detail. We now lovingly call it the 'birds eye view' that both of them must have before we set out on a trip even though we have the most wonderful thing called GPS.

Aby and Suresh.. Camping at Twin Lakes 2005)

For me the vacation to Tampa was a much needed change and truly a vacation. The best thing about going to Reshma's place is that she kicks you out of her kitchen -- which I appreciate :). While she makes yummy stuff that we then pig on. This time it was the most awesome Masala Dosa (Sorry no pictures! - we were too busy eating)

As we got the two kidlings together it was so much fun to see them laugh, play and occasionally poke each other in the eye. Anna is 2 years and 4 months and Isaac is about 15 months. So it is the right age difference that they play with each other and keep each other busy.

Tired after Lowry Zoo

Anna is a late riser and a late to bed goer. Isaac on the other hand is an early riser and an early bed goer. It was interesting to see how they changed their sleep patterns. Anna would wake up earlier than her usual time and Isaac would go 1-2 hrs past his bedtime. It seemed like they knew that the vacation would soon be over.

In 8 days - we visited the park several times, went for walks, stood on the deck and stared at people walking their dogs, visited Lowry park zoo, the Children's Museum, Clearwater beach and the Manatee viewing center.

By Friday - I was feeling like I had done nothing - which was a really good feeling. Relaxation!

Now that we are back in Baltimore- I couldn’t feel bluer. Looking forward to visiting the cuzzins soon or having them come over!

Psalm 133

The Excellency of Brotherly Unity.

A Song of Ascents, of David.

1Behold, how good and how pleasant it is

For brothers (or sisters?) to dwell together in unity!

2It is like the precious oil upon the head,

Coming down upon the beard,

Even Aaron's beard,

Coming down upon the edge of his robes.

3It is like the dew of Hermon

Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;

For there the LORD commanded the blessing--life forever.

MIL's

If anyone has watched a Hindi or a Malayalam movie from the 1990's/ early 2000's you would know that mother-in-laws (MIL's) were evil. Yes every movie in that decade portrayed the mother-in-law as the big bad wolf. Waiting to gulp down her daughter-in-law because she had nothing better to do! I have watched more than my share of these movies at an age when I was was very naive and a bunch of my young cousins were getting married. I could have sworn every one of them looked miserable and I was sure it was because their MIL's were making them work their butt off!

At that age of probably 18 or 19 I promised my self I would be a strong daughter-in-law - never give into the tyrannical mother-in-law.

And then I met her ... At the first look she reminds you of a really strict high school teacher. The one thats waiting to yell at you. And then she smiles her 300 Volt smile and you wonder... She is still a mystery - behind the smile, the thick glasses and the thin calm face. There is a lot I do not know about Kalyani Joel - But this I know - she proved all those movies utterly false. The lie of the devil!

My first time in her kitchen I was pretending to help her make some dosa and she laughed and said 'In the old days you know - Mother-in-laws would use the palm of their daughter-in-law .. dip it in oil and use it to line the hot pan on which they would then spread the dosa batter' .. I giggled and right then Suresh walked in and I said 'Suresh- Amma is planning to use my hand to spread oil on the dosa tava' .. Her eyes popped out and she said ' O Lord please dont go home and tell your parents that .. they will think I am a terrible person' ... and we three had a good laugh.

Her take on 'raising' children is interesting --- This past March while we were visiting India Suresh commented on disciplining Isaac (I know he was only 4 months - we were thinking ahead). He was specifically taking about Proverbs 23:14 when Amma interrupted ' If you think you cannot raise Isaac without a rod - leave him with me I will show you how you can raise a fine man for God without the rod'. Point well noted. Suresh says he remember's Amma's 'disciplining' him only 2 or 3 times. Once he disturbed her when she was praying and once he scared her by walking up to her from behind silently and grabbing her arm. She thought he was a thief and he got a piece of her! :) I guess he deserved it. I would have to say she raised two fine children! Though the time she didnt spend disciplining them she spent praying for them . Isaiah 54:13 All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace.

December 23rd was her birthday and we miss her terribly!

Kalyani anecdotes

A 5/6 year old Kalyani standing in the corner crying

Older Brother: Kalyani , why are you crying

Kalyani: I am practicing to cry!

(Its sounds funnier in Tamil)

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!