I have recently met and heard of a few couples where the wife would like to return back to the U.S. Every time we hear one of those cases Suresh will turn to me and say 'Do you want to return to the U.S.?'
He is asking me. He is confirming that I am still happy with my decision. He is making sure I haven't changed my pleading mind. Pleading because I begged of him 2 years ago for the Exodus from U.S. No we were not slaves in the U.S. But I was missing home.
I have firmly said 'NO!'. At least so far . I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. Maybe we may have to return back. I do not know. Please do not misunderstand. U.S. was wonderful and I had 11 wonderful years there. I would not exchange a second of those 11 years to being in India. I just love being here - in India. Close to family. I love that I can afford help and that the help I get - I am very comfortable with. I love that If I decide to suddenly book tickets and visit my folks, it is not an emergency. And I love that I do not have to spend over $5000 of hard earned money every time I get homesick .... Now it costs me about Rs 5000.
Maybe I provoke Suresh to ask me the 'return question'. My last conversation that ended up this way was because I was talking about my friend's wife who wanted to return to the U.S. A little bit about that couple, my friend grew up in the U.S. His wife grew up here in India. My logic is she would adjust perfectly. My insensitive words were ' I cannot understand why she wants to go back'
Suresh's reply 'You would too if you lived in a village like she does. Loosing your freedom. Not being able to go in and out at your pleasure.'
I silently agreed. Today, however, on my bike ride as I went to buy a few veggies and found myself arguing with the veggie vendor, I realized something. I would not lose my freedom. No one can take that away from me.
A little tour on our locality. We do not exactly stay in a 'happening' place. My facebook 'about' may say Bangalore. But we stay about about 25 km away from Bangalore city. Per Google maps it would take us 1 hour to get to our house from Bangalore city. When I tell people where I live, they squint their eyes and say 'where?'. So you really cannot say that I live in the hep 'Bangalore'. Its true that the community I live in is really nice. In fact it is so nice that I hardly miss the U.S. for its facilities. There is the strange HOA which is very unlike U.S. But I am used to it. If you met my family you would know why!
But step outside my gates and its a complete village. Now I could choose to stay within my gates. But I don't. Because there is so much outside. Right outside. There is a bakery and a 'wholesale' store. I can get eggs and masala's. If you go at 7 am to a little street corner in the center of the village, there are veggie vendors selling beans for Rs 5, Orka for Rs 5 and tomatoes for Rs 5. I can make a meal with those small quantities I buy. I will be back the next day for fresh veggies. I am trying to think and possibly the only thing I do not get there is diapers. I hope and pray that Ziva will be potty trained soon and I will not have a diaper emergency.
Is it safe? Well I do not go when its dark. I go only to a few places where I know the people. I have made a few friends who greet me 'Madam - Happy New year!' 'Madam -did you vote?' No they are not all women. I have one lady friend who gives me eggs on credit if I do not have change. She gives Ziva a chocolate once in a while. But the rest are men. Do I get stared at? Yes - because I wear pants, I ride a cycle and I have weird gear on my cycle. But will that keep me from going there. No! I have decided - no one can take my freedom away from me. Of course I will not venture into unknown spots or make conversation with strange people! But I will buy my veggies from the street corner, the eggs from the shop outside the gates. And I will enjoy Kannamangala Village while I live here.
Another thing I am grateful for is my car driving skills. This owe to Suresh who insisted on buying only stick-shift cars in the U.S. I drove in India before I left for the U.S. Having a stick-shift in the U.S. made adjusting to Indian cars very easy. The rest is the crazy traffic - well I pray a lot in the car! The past one week I have been driving Isaac to summer camp. Some one asked me how to do you come all the way from Kadugodi! By car! No one can take my freedom from me. Not even a stick-shift car.
In retrospective - I do not think my friend's wife is returning to the U.S. because of lack of freedom. Because lack of freedom is a state of mind. I am sure there are other reasons. I can venture into a thousand on why I would go back.
But for right now - this is home.
He is asking me. He is confirming that I am still happy with my decision. He is making sure I haven't changed my pleading mind. Pleading because I begged of him 2 years ago for the Exodus from U.S. No we were not slaves in the U.S. But I was missing home.
I have firmly said 'NO!'. At least so far . I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. Maybe we may have to return back. I do not know. Please do not misunderstand. U.S. was wonderful and I had 11 wonderful years there. I would not exchange a second of those 11 years to being in India. I just love being here - in India. Close to family. I love that I can afford help and that the help I get - I am very comfortable with. I love that If I decide to suddenly book tickets and visit my folks, it is not an emergency. And I love that I do not have to spend over $5000 of hard earned money every time I get homesick .... Now it costs me about Rs 5000.
Maybe I provoke Suresh to ask me the 'return question'. My last conversation that ended up this way was because I was talking about my friend's wife who wanted to return to the U.S. A little bit about that couple, my friend grew up in the U.S. His wife grew up here in India. My logic is she would adjust perfectly. My insensitive words were ' I cannot understand why she wants to go back'
Suresh's reply 'You would too if you lived in a village like she does. Loosing your freedom. Not being able to go in and out at your pleasure.'
I silently agreed. Today, however, on my bike ride as I went to buy a few veggies and found myself arguing with the veggie vendor, I realized something. I would not lose my freedom. No one can take that away from me.
A little tour on our locality. We do not exactly stay in a 'happening' place. My facebook 'about' may say Bangalore. But we stay about about 25 km away from Bangalore city. Per Google maps it would take us 1 hour to get to our house from Bangalore city. When I tell people where I live, they squint their eyes and say 'where?'. So you really cannot say that I live in the hep 'Bangalore'. Its true that the community I live in is really nice. In fact it is so nice that I hardly miss the U.S. for its facilities. There is the strange HOA which is very unlike U.S. But I am used to it. If you met my family you would know why!
But step outside my gates and its a complete village. Now I could choose to stay within my gates. But I don't. Because there is so much outside. Right outside. There is a bakery and a 'wholesale' store. I can get eggs and masala's. If you go at 7 am to a little street corner in the center of the village, there are veggie vendors selling beans for Rs 5, Orka for Rs 5 and tomatoes for Rs 5. I can make a meal with those small quantities I buy. I will be back the next day for fresh veggies. I am trying to think and possibly the only thing I do not get there is diapers. I hope and pray that Ziva will be potty trained soon and I will not have a diaper emergency.
Is it safe? Well I do not go when its dark. I go only to a few places where I know the people. I have made a few friends who greet me 'Madam - Happy New year!' 'Madam -did you vote?' No they are not all women. I have one lady friend who gives me eggs on credit if I do not have change. She gives Ziva a chocolate once in a while. But the rest are men. Do I get stared at? Yes - because I wear pants, I ride a cycle and I have weird gear on my cycle. But will that keep me from going there. No! I have decided - no one can take my freedom away from me. Of course I will not venture into unknown spots or make conversation with strange people! But I will buy my veggies from the street corner, the eggs from the shop outside the gates. And I will enjoy Kannamangala Village while I live here.
Another thing I am grateful for is my car driving skills. This owe to Suresh who insisted on buying only stick-shift cars in the U.S. I drove in India before I left for the U.S. Having a stick-shift in the U.S. made adjusting to Indian cars very easy. The rest is the crazy traffic - well I pray a lot in the car! The past one week I have been driving Isaac to summer camp. Some one asked me how to do you come all the way from Kadugodi! By car! No one can take my freedom from me. Not even a stick-shift car.
In retrospective - I do not think my friend's wife is returning to the U.S. because of lack of freedom. Because lack of freedom is a state of mind. I am sure there are other reasons. I can venture into a thousand on why I would go back.
But for right now - this is home.
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