Love in a time of crisis #together

The true test of a marriage is definitely how a couple withstands crisis. While I cannot say that Suresh and I have had great trials and tribulations, we have seen a fair share of up’s and downs. Starting with homesickness, which was before we were married, to the loss of a dear one, we have been broken and still stand together.

A recent crisis that I thought would be interesting to share.  This one was not as emotional as a loss of a dear one but yet drove us up each other nerves in the matter of a few days.

We finally sealed the deal on a house in November. After 3 years of trying to get our finances together and being very picky about staying in the same community we were able to move to a house … right next door. I would not call it a dream home since I really do not have any idea of what my dream home would look like. But I definitely was looking forward to decorating this house and calling it my own. As we started planning changes in the house Suresh said 'Lets just move in! We can slowly make changes.' I , on the other hand, wanted to renovate the bathrooms. Now bathrooms are a pet peeve for me and while the new house had never been used, the tiles were not exactly my 'style'.

Suresh haggled 'One' bathroom. I did not give in. All 'four' bathrooms renovated was my demand. And then began our crisis which lasted 4 months.

As we broke the tiles and choose new one for the floors and walls, we never thought renovating bathrooms would be such a crisis. The contractor we chose was terrible. The workers were lazy and when time came to move into the new house, not a single bathroom was ready. 

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'I told you not to do this'

But he did not say a word!

One week later we managed to get the contractors out of the house and then, it started to leak. Not a small leak. A big smelly leak. Drip! Drip!

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'We should not have done this!'

But he did not say a word! 

It took us a whole month and a plumber who came every single day to our house to fix all the goof ups made by the previous contractor. As I complained about the never ending work and the constant drilling noise I was expecting DH to burst in flames and yell back.

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'You did not listen to me!'

But he did not say a word! 

We finally made it through the craziness together and have started enjoying the peace of our new home. While some women may think love is diamonds and roses, I am definitely one that believes that 'Love' is standing together in the time of crisis. Love is a husband who doesn't point out your mistakes!

This post has been written for #together for Housing.com. 

The day I stood still

 

I am usually doing two things at one time.

I dont mean I have more than one tab open on my Chrome window .... I mean like literally two things
Watching TV and working. That's my favorite one. This morning I was baking bread and cake at the same time.
I know what you are thinking - completely unnessasry. I know! But yet I do it. Its like I get a strange kind of pleasure or thrill... The sad thing I don't thing either of the tasks get done great. I know I am not the only mom that multitasks. I know many more do.  Talking on the phone and folding clothes... feeding the kiddos and cleaning the vessels. Cooking and cleaning vessels (so you get done quicker!)

But today for about 1 hr I did just one thing! I sat at my computer and paid bills. Even though there were multiple windows open, for me it was like only one thing going on. No TV was on ... No kids screaming for attention. And it felt so .... NICE... at one point I actually realized that I was doing only one thing and decided I just had to blog about this.

Suresh keeps saying - 'Do one thing. Why do you have to get all stressed and try to finish a hundred things in one shot?' . I know he is right. But there is something about multitasking that is addictive. And just like any addiction there is a low point in multitasking

The addictive part of multitasking: You get a lot more done

The low point: You can never make out which one is most enjoyable. Now you may think between cleaning vessels and cooking, well both is a chore. But they both can be made enjoyable.  And then you can think well if I talk on the phone while folding clothes at least the clothes will get folded. But you will never enjoy that phone call.
Today as I finished multitasking (Baking bread and cake) I was exhausted and had not enjoyed either. While baking I had tried to pay the bills and transfer money to someone. The website had not worked and by the end of the morning I had gotten a lot done (in terms of baking) but with a lot of frustration (website getting back at me!)
Finally after the kids left for the park I took a shower and came and sat on the bed with my computer and just tried to pay the bills. And it worked! It was then that I realized that I was not multitasking ... it was just me and my computer.

The reason for multitasking: A multitasker friend and I were discussing how we watched TV while doing most of our mundane daily stuff and we had another friend stare at us. 'You are crazy' she concluded. But here was my reasoning to multitasking. When I have the TV on, I sit in one place thus getting the mundane work done. Whereas if the TV is off, I will look for ways to go to another task!

The myth about multitasking: The most common one is that only woman multitask. Lets correct that right now. I may have always been a multitasker, but I became a heavy multitasker after the kids were born. It seemed at that point the 24 hours in the day was not enough to complete all the life was throwing at me. So next time you see someone multitasker know that she is probably a mom and has a list long of things to do and if you truly let her go she may actually like to sit on the sofa with her feet up. If you dont believe me look up the images on the internet for multitaskers and you will see that they all have a baby or a diaper or a stroller in one of their many hands.


The thing though about a multitasking  is that its a hard habit to break. And while the world does not understand why a multitasker does what she/he does, one multitasker does get the crazy and the weird life of another multitasker. So here's a big 'Cheers' to my fellow multitasker!