The day I married a RICH MAN

I cannot remember how the conversation came up. It had something to do with a young girl, maybe about 15 years younger than me, talking about her choice of educational field and how it would be so hard to get a job.

We were a group of about 7-8 sitting around the lunch table. The conversation was casual when this came up.

Miss XYZ: ‘Aunty it’s very hard to get a job in this field’

Me: ‘Oh just finish your course, find a rich guy and marry him’. I joked

Miss  XYZ:  ‘Yea aunty you found your rich guy!’

I wanted to laugh out loud and say ‘REALLY!!!’

I looked across to my Rich man who was happily digging into his Thali plate.  It got me nostalgic about a time long ago when such a comment would never have even been seen in our vicinity. I have been called ‘Rich’ before and I realize that it’s time to tell the story. I guess it’s one that my kids are going to hear for a long time about how ‘Your dad and I struggled’. But looking back at that time, I never thought we would have the comfort of sitting at any restaurant and ordering whatever we wanted!

There are a lot of women who have gone from their father’s house to their husband’s house. I believe they are really lucky and blessed to have men who have taken care of them all throughout. When I say taking care, I specifically mean the financial aspect of it.

I choose a slightly different path. I left my father’s home at the age of 22 with a nice big cheque that I had hoped to return to him as soon as I got a graduate scholarship. I had made the trip across the seven seas and had promised myself that I would not ask for any more financial support if I got the scholarship. If I did not get a scholarship, I would return home with my tail between my legs and do whatever my father asked me to.

I got the scholarship and sent back the cheque save a few dollars which I needed for the initial days expenditure.

$827 per month. $413 every two weeks. That was my income for the next two years. My rent shared with 4 roommates was $235 per person. Then there was groceries, telephone and electricity bills to pay. It seemed hard but I learned to budget. It was in the midst of this that I met my RICH man!

He lived a few floors below in the same apartment building.

                                    Study on the floor ... Diwan and small side table made by Suresh!

We were class mates and guess what … he too made $827 per month. $413 every two weeks. We got married and moved into a one bedroom apartment with no furniture except a bed that the RICH man had acquired from another graduate student who was leaving. We had a few vessels and plates and we cooked and ate on the floor. The rent now was $650 totally. And then there was bills to pay. We continued our studies and graduated 3 years later. Over the three years we bought a TV, we found a computer table in the dump outside our building, my rich man made some furniture and we bought a few plants.

                                                         TV stand made by Suresh

Once we graduated, life started looking up. But for the first three years of our married life, we budgeted! We spent on credit cards till we realized we could not afford to pay the cards back and so one day we cut up all our credit cards. This meant rare eating out and social outings. We enjoyed bicycle rides to buy groceries since we did not have a car. We would put on two haversacks and buy big bottles of milk and vegetables home in them riding the bicycle both ways. We budgeted $ 5 per person per week to eat out. That meant we ate only at street carts. Hot dog cart sold a hotdog for $1. Sautéed onions was 50 cents more. We budgeted eating at a restaurant only once a month and could not spend more than $20 at the restaurant.

So it wasn’t a rich man … but it was a rich life!

At the end of 3 years of marriage when we graduated … my rich man got an awesome job. I guess I really figured out what it meant to spend money was at this time. We still did not use credit cards. We bought a second hand Mazda and enjoyed many long rides. We started to travel bit more and restaurant eating was maybe twice a week. Then 2 years later I completed my residency and got a nice job and things started looking even better. None of the above would have seemed half bad if you look at us today. But the uncertainty at that point of time was a bit scary. I wonder how we just lived without worrying.

                                                         Suresh's Study table and our bed :)


Now here we are ... 14 years after marriage. Life is comfortable. People may think we are ‘Rich’ … but we know where we came from. We know the days and weeks and months of craving to eat something fancy or just spending on clothes without thinking.

We know that tomorrow is never certain. But we are very thankful for what yesterday has taught us and we are enjoying today.

A few days ago another young girl came for marital advise.

Miss ABC: ‘How important is it for the guy to be financially stable?’

Me: ‘ I married one who wasn’t  … but it worked out for me’ I laughed! ‘ It depends on how willing you are to endure the days that are not so comfortable’

I married a RICH man… he had a RICH heart  … and we had the confidence that we would make it together.

Love in a time of crisis #together

The true test of a marriage is definitely how a couple withstands crisis. While I cannot say that Suresh and I have had great trials and tribulations, we have seen a fair share of up’s and downs. Starting with homesickness, which was before we were married, to the loss of a dear one, we have been broken and still stand together.

A recent crisis that I thought would be interesting to share.  This one was not as emotional as a loss of a dear one but yet drove us up each other nerves in the matter of a few days.

We finally sealed the deal on a house in November. After 3 years of trying to get our finances together and being very picky about staying in the same community we were able to move to a house … right next door. I would not call it a dream home since I really do not have any idea of what my dream home would look like. But I definitely was looking forward to decorating this house and calling it my own. As we started planning changes in the house Suresh said 'Lets just move in! We can slowly make changes.' I , on the other hand, wanted to renovate the bathrooms. Now bathrooms are a pet peeve for me and while the new house had never been used, the tiles were not exactly my 'style'.

Suresh haggled 'One' bathroom. I did not give in. All 'four' bathrooms renovated was my demand. And then began our crisis which lasted 4 months.

As we broke the tiles and choose new one for the floors and walls, we never thought renovating bathrooms would be such a crisis. The contractor we chose was terrible. The workers were lazy and when time came to move into the new house, not a single bathroom was ready. 

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'I told you not to do this'

But he did not say a word!

One week later we managed to get the contractors out of the house and then, it started to leak. Not a small leak. A big smelly leak. Drip! Drip!

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'We should not have done this!'

But he did not say a word! 

It took us a whole month and a plumber who came every single day to our house to fix all the goof ups made by the previous contractor. As I complained about the never ending work and the constant drilling noise I was expecting DH to burst in flames and yell back.

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'You did not listen to me!'

But he did not say a word! 

We finally made it through the craziness together and have started enjoying the peace of our new home. While some women may think love is diamonds and roses, I am definitely one that believes that 'Love' is standing together in the time of crisis. Love is a husband who doesn't point out your mistakes!

This post has been written for #together for Housing.com. 

My lucky husband!

Yesterday I realized that my husband was the luckiest man! He had me as a wife!

I was having a conversation with a bunch of girlies across the road (two to be exact) and we got talking about car driving skills.

R: Rohini how long have you been in India? Definitely less than me? How come you drive the car with so much confidence?

I think my head was the size of a really large watermelon.... well its Jackfruit season .. so lets say a really large jackfruit. Well many have told me I do not take compliments very well! So I started to roll in my oversized head's slush!

Me: Well R in the US, we had stick shift cars. Suresh refused to buy automatic car and so both our cars were stick shift. So I am used to the gears. 

(What I should have said was -thank you I am so flattered!)

R: No yaar its not the gears ... you just drive well on the roads. I mean you are not afraid of others on the road.

I think if R sits in the car with me she may become afraid of me!

M: You must have driven before you left for the US. 

I nod a yes.

M: See that makes a big difference. I think I will have the 'L' board on my car all my life.

We all laugh!

Me: Well I have no choice. Suresh wont drive me anywhere. I need anything done I have to go on my own.

R: That's the point ... our husbands have spoilt us! They take us everywhere so we never learn to drive.

Me in my head : Suresh is so lucky!

I turned around and saw the two cars parked grandly in the garage! I quickly turned back

Me: Suresh does leave the car for me. 

Missing from our car park was Suresh's reliable and every puntureable mountain bike!

M: Thats the problem. Our husbands don't leave the cars with us. That's why we don't learn to drive!

I smiled - was I the luckiest girl or what

A few days back the topic of love marriage came up and I mentioned in the presence of three other girlies 'No one would tolerate me the way Suresh does!'

P.S: Suresh ... I am in a good mood ... you better not fight with me this weekend --- love --- your lucky wife ME!