Genetics

Genetics is fabulous....
No - not the subject that teaches you about X and Y chromosomes (or talks about dreadful diseases)

But the one that you see with your own eyes when you look at a child and say ... 'You look exactly like your dad/ mom'

I remember my friend Anita's husband saying, a long time ago, its amazing how kids look like a combination of both parents! Amazing indeed -- its another sign that we have an amazing God who knows how to form us 'Fearfully and wonderfully'

For I was fearfully and wonderfully made
Why fearfully -- because he did not want to make even one error --- i.e. you are perfect. And why do I believe I am 'wonderful' because I see Ziva and Isaac each day and I can see a little or a lot of me in them - and I believe they are wonderfully created!

I always believed I was adopted when I was growing up --- some kind of a strange complex because I never got treated well by my relatives ... rather I felt that way... One day Suresh and I were talking about strange complexes and I shared this childhood fear that I had and he laughed ....'Do you see how identical you two look- Mona and you ... You could be twins'. Mona is my sister --- older by 3 years. I actually still don't see it! The similarity ... neither does she.

But what I do see is how our family is split. As someone in our park said - 'Your family is divided well. Ziva looks just like you and Isaac looks just like Suresh'
I can see Ziva looking like me but I see a lot of characteristic behaviour of mine showing up in Isaac. I was just thinking this when Suresh says 'Isaac looks so much like Grace!'. Grace is my 13 soon to be 14 year old neice.  I rummaged through all Grace's old pictures to find a perfect match and finally gave up and went back to Suresh. He pulled up this picture and said - 'Its not how they look like each other - rather some kind of behaviour similarity.'
I looked at the picture again and saw it!

There is also the case when you look at someone next to someone and they look alike... or is it still genetics. Here is a picture of Ziva with my aunt. i.e. her grand aunt. I have been told often that I resemble my aunt and in this picture I feel Ziva looks like her.

We were on a vacation with another couple (Veena and Satheesh) when at the breakfast table an exasperated Satheesh said something to the extent of 'exactly like mother'. Veena had this thousand watt smile on her face. It wasnt a flattering similarity .... but Veena took it just as the biggest compliment. What is it about us moms and dads that we want our kids to look like us or behave like us.
I told a father that his daughter looked liked him -- and he was overjoyed --- he even went home and told his wife -- 'See there are people who think T looks like me'

Have to end this one with a little bit of an emotional twist ... Its a time like this when everyone says ... you are just like your mom or just like your dad ... that Suresh misses his mom and I miss my dad. If  anyone asks my my mom if my kids look or behave like me she just shrugs her shoulders and says 'I dont remember'. But I remember my dad bringing out  my sisters baby pictures when my niece was born and showing it to everyone who came to the see the  baby, ... the similarity!
We were at Suresh's friend's place and his friend's mom had a slip of tongue ... calling her grandson by her son's name. A moment like that ... and Suresh is reminded about all the stories his mother would have told of how naughty or good he was as a kid  and how Isaac /Ziva was exactly the same as dad!

So who do you look like?
So guess the folk in the pictures below

Pic1

Pic2

Pic3

Pic4

In her shoes

The phone kept ringing that day. I think she must have picked it up promptly every time because I kept hearing 'I will come ... I will come'
Finally after the umpteenth 'I will come', I asked her 'What's going on?'. After all I had to show my authority as an employer and ignoring the numerous phone calls would also make me a very heartless person.
She: 'Our gas cylinder is leaking we have to go exchange it?'
Me: 'Why wont they come and take it?' The rule in India is if there is a gas leak from a cylinder, they must come  on the same day and check it out.
She: 'Its a festival today, so they say they wont come today they will come tomorrow. I am too scared to have the cylinder in my house'
Only in India will a gas cylinder leak be considered less important on a holiday!

Me: 'So your husband is going to take it?'
She: 'Yes, both of us. He cannot possibly carry it alone all the way to the gas shop'

Now I exercise everyday .... I feel fit, I have carried an empty gas cylinder and put it in the back of the car. But never in my life would I even imagine carrying a full gas cylinder.. for a really long distance... mostly walking or maybe taking a bus for a few kms!
I had a mental image of husband and wife carrying the cylinder, taking turns or sharing the load!
And then for a moment, I imagined me carrying that cylinder .... or helping share the burden with Suresh. I felt a chill in my spine! We all live in big, pretty house and drive nice cars... and we feel we are invincible to the harshness of life .... mainly because we do not see in in ... sitting here in our nice compounded/gated community!  But I have in the past 10 years seen people being reduced from prosperity to nothing! Some up close and personal. I could be reduced to picking up a gas cylinder and walking those many kms!

Me: 'Take the car!'
She jumped at the opportunity.
As I related this to Suresh that evening. He asked exasperated 'Could they not take an autorickshaw!' (Before I told him I gave them the car)
Me: 'Yes .... that is 100 Rs one way... they could use that money for a lot of other luxuries.'

Happy birthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday ... well not really. But for many years after I had left for the US, my dad would call me on an odd day during the year and wish me happy birthday.
Me: Its not my birthday today
Appa: Its Janmastami today. You were born on Janmastami.

I still tear up at the thought that he remembers the day I was born ... not the date ... the day.
Janmastami is a festival in India where the Hindu's celebrate the birth of Krishna. Like all Indian festivals, this follows the lunar calendar. So every year it comes on a  different date. I would always wonder what he (my father) remembered about that day .. that made it such a fond memory that he remembered it every year. There is a lot of activities in Mumbai for Janmastami. The most famous and the one I really enjoy watching is the Matki breaking. They form a human pyramid and break a pot that is way up in the sky ... usually tied between two buildings. The pot has makan ... a supposed favorite of Krishna and of course ... incentive...Money.

I always wonder what my father thought about when he saw the breaking of the pots, which you could not miss anywhere in Mumbai, as he picked up the phone to call me. One year he even distributed food to his employees on this day in celebration.

My father ... years ago

Now  5 years after he is no longer with us ... I wish I had asked him. What happened on that day? How did it happen? What were you doing?
We mom's love writing our child's birth story. But I think father's have a different story to tell... different incidents to remember ... different moments that make the day so special.  A note to Suresh to tell him to write it all down ... before we become old and frail.


Hubby dear got a lot of brownie points for wishing me. He did not know it was Janmastami as he had to work. But on his way back from work someone stopped him to ask him how he did not get a day off.  What for he asked? Janmastami.
He came home and wished me! Made my day!

 

My lucky husband!

Yesterday I realized that my husband was the luckiest man! He had me as a wife!

I was having a conversation with a bunch of girlies across the road (two to be exact) and we got talking about car driving skills.

R: Rohini how long have you been in India? Definitely less than me? How come you drive the car with so much confidence?

I think my head was the size of a really large watermelon.... well its Jackfruit season .. so lets say a really large jackfruit. Well many have told me I do not take compliments very well! So I started to roll in my oversized head's slush!

Me: Well R in the US, we had stick shift cars. Suresh refused to buy automatic car and so both our cars were stick shift. So I am used to the gears. 

(What I should have said was -thank you I am so flattered!)

R: No yaar its not the gears ... you just drive well on the roads. I mean you are not afraid of others on the road.

I think if R sits in the car with me she may become afraid of me!

M: You must have driven before you left for the US. 

I nod a yes.

M: See that makes a big difference. I think I will have the 'L' board on my car all my life.

We all laugh!

Me: Well I have no choice. Suresh wont drive me anywhere. I need anything done I have to go on my own.

R: That's the point ... our husbands have spoilt us! They take us everywhere so we never learn to drive.

Me in my head : Suresh is so lucky!

I turned around and saw the two cars parked grandly in the garage! I quickly turned back

Me: Suresh does leave the car for me. 

Missing from our car park was Suresh's reliable and every puntureable mountain bike!

M: Thats the problem. Our husbands don't leave the cars with us. That's why we don't learn to drive!

I smiled - was I the luckiest girl or what

A few days back the topic of love marriage came up and I mentioned in the presence of three other girlies 'No one would tolerate me the way Suresh does!'

P.S: Suresh ... I am in a good mood ... you better not fight with me this weekend --- love --- your lucky wife ME!

What did you do this weekend?

On Saturday morning, the only thing I knew about dry pastels was that they looked like crayons. Even that I knew because I googled 'dry pastels'!
By Sunday afternoon I had produced these two.

Tree of life silhouette 

Meera 

No. I am not incredibly talented. But I found a very very very patient teacher. Very encouraging. Very talented. And ...very pushy. Now Kanchan is going to read this blog and say 'Pushy ... mein ... kabhi nahi'
But let me elucidate on why I needed to be pushed. You see I am not a person of details. I need to finish things quickly. I need to have a product ... feel it ...  hold it ... see it and post it!
Had it not been for Kanchan telling me 'Fill up the white ... darken the corner ... put a little yellow here ... put a little orange there .... here let me show you ... ', my 'Meera' would have been very plain.
Oh by the way ... I was the only one who needed to be pushed. If you see the paintings of the other two ladies ... they are intricate ... detailed and fantastic.
Class was supposed to be from 11-1pm on Saturday and Sunday. But we ladies were there till 2 pm both days. Kanchan even gave a freebie saying ... 'Dont worry ... if you dont finish ... you can come another day. Just call me!'
It was de-stressing and yet tiring. Tiring in a happy way - where you looked at the painting and realized you had done something! With a cup of tea and some biscuits at 12:30 ... Kanchan made sure she renewed some of our lost energy and kept us going.

Somewhere during those 5 - 6 hours Kanchan mentioned ... she didnt have an official certificate saying 'Professional Art Teacher'.
Who cares! If you can bring this out of me ... I wonder what all you can do in someone who is artistic and talented.
Very good ending to last week and definitely a happy mommy starting this week.

Ladies ... and Gentlemen. Kanchan and her friend Deepa have started something called
Creative Adda ... Unleash your creativity. I am a big promoter of small business and entrepreneurs. I encourage you to encourage these ladies by 'Like' their facebook pages.

Creative Adda 
Artsy Craftsy
Kreative Steps

Faux pas

I have had my own sets of 'faux pas' ... i.e. social blunders. I have often called out the wrong things or put my really big foot in my really small mouth. But usually, I realize and get very embarrassed and swear never to speak in public again.

Here, back in India, after 10 years of being in a country that has a low tolerance for 'faux pas', I have realized that it is better to keep silent and be considered a fool than to open ones mouth and prove it!

Below are a few crazy conversations I have had that have made my jaw drop. The funny part is the person on the other end had no idea that they had put their foot in their mouth!

The first one happened as I was helping my kids play in the park. There was a lot of howling and screaming and a certain mom came over to give her condolence about the chaos in my vicinity. I smiled and accepted the empathy.
The next question was 'How old is your son'
Me: '2 years'
Q: 'How old is your daughter?'
Me:'2 months?'
Faux Pas:' Wow not much difference huh!'
Me in my head 'You think!'
Faux pas adder: 'My two kids are well apart!
I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry!

Another one
We are currently renting. And since we moved to India with 249 boxes and came here and got some closets built we trying desperately not to buy any furniture/stuff for the house. Just because the number of boxes with the next move will increase again! That being said we also have a few choices. No TV in the living room. Well the basement has plenty of space and the TV down there reduces the amount of time I spend in front of it. We had a few guests a few months back who walked in and among the first things that slipped out was a faux pas
Faux pas: 'What happened your living room looks really empty?'
Yikes - how about  saying 'Spacious living room!' instead


and yet another
Yet again in the company of another mother and here is how the conversation goes
Other mom: So are you working
Me (smiling at my two kids): No - this (pointing at the kids) is full time work
Other mom: Oh! Why do you have a full time servant then?
Me: ............. loss of words!
I am not certain whether I should that said  'I am extremely lazy' or 'because I can afford it!

Well both would have been rude! As is this post --- but just me venting!

Pick up lines!

We are way past the 'pick up line' age - and so we don't hear many strange things being said around us. Unlike when we were were in college or even grad school when we heard the weirdest things said around us -- when the moment was awkward and 'the boy' should have just asked 'the girl' out.

Our current favorite movie to watch over and over again is 3 Idiots. Mainly because it is copied on the hard drive because the kids scratched up the CD. So every time Suresh and I are bored (which is rarely since the kids are normally driving us nuts) or just need a laugh (which is all the time) we will turn on the movie.
Favorite scenes for Suresh and me are Chatur's speech or Aamir Khan giving the watch 'demo'. We were watching a little past all this one day to where Aamir Khan tells the girl that her mother must have been really pretty and Suresh laughs
Suresh:' That's a nice pick up line!'
Me:' Yea - its better than yours'
Suresh: 'What!'
Me: 'Oh Please!'

A little story from a long time ago or in the Hindi cinema it would be called a FLASHBACK!

It was the graduate student orientation at Virginia Commonwealth University in the year 2000. As usual the Indian students were clustered together and hanging out solely together. The boys all together and the girls all together. (I still cannot get over how we still sit only in separate sexes - almost like men and women cannot sit in the same room and have a conversation - I will save this for another blog!)
And yet all together! We found a few benches and sat down. I was with my roommates and happened to sit right across from Suresh who was trying to eat a burger and definitely not enjoying it. He looks up
Suresh : 'You are a Christian ?'
Me: 'Yea - how did you know ?'
Suresh: 'Nametag'
Me: 'Oh - yea George!'
Suresh : 'You know where you are going to church tomorrow'
ALERT ALERT ALERT --- major pick up line alert!

 

Back to the present- I look at Isaac
Me: 'You will you not be asking any girls to church!'
Isaac whose mouth is stuffed with chappattis and whatever other vegetables I could throw in - nods and moves his attention back to his documentary on Dolphins.