Hold my hand -

No one gets you, Why you cry
Let me not deny
Sometimes neither do I!

No one gets your intensity, Your need to be perfect
Let me not deny
Sometimes neither do I!

No one understands your dream world, as you build up mansions in your head
Let me not deny
Sometimes neither do I!

No one gets your passion, your love, your kindness, your gentleness, your anger, your craziness, your laughter, your tears
Let me not deny
Sometimes neither do I!


Everyone will want you to change!
Be more boy, be more rough, be more loud
Let me deny
Never will I!

Everyone may seem like they don't understand you
But I always will try

R>E>S>P>E>C>T

Be a woman who earns respect,
By your actions
By your words
By your kindness
By your love

Be a woman who doesn't have to fight for it
By your willingness to give
By your ability to forgive
By your joy in strife
By your laughter in conflict

Be a woman who shows that you are a blessed creation
By supporting your husband
By loving your children
By caring for those around you
By your devotion to your household


Be that kind of woman!

Happy Woman's day!

Hooked - #RealTogetherness

There was time when I was hooked to Television. I could watch 6-7 hours of TV. I could watch and re-watch episodes. I had evenings and nights of ‘back-to-back’ watching all those detective series. And then I cut it off at the source. Yes I cut off cable. Its has been six years now since we cut cable at our house. Since we moved from the US to india, there was a mild urge to get cable back on the pertext of the kids watching Discovery and Animal Planet. But considering that I am so ‘hooked’ we have progressively been able to push of cable by buying DVD’s with the wonderful soothing voice of Sir David Attenbourgh talking about the ‘Life of Birds’.

You could say I found freedom from the addiction. And while that lasted a good deal of time, here I am again with yet another ‘issue’. Social media and its kind has taken over my life. I am hooked once again. Don’t get me wrong. I love Facebook and Whatsapp. I like that I can send my DH a picture of my little girl crying in an instant or post this blog for a hundred friends to read via my Facebook page. But truth be told – I am hooked.

As the convenience of keeping in touch becomes easier, as the world becomes smaller, as we network faster, the addiction is growing stronger.

A few days ago a nephew of mine told me for a 100^th time that I was hooked to ‘whatsapp’. In his words, ‘Whatsapp was becoming my idol’. So I decided time to cut the tree and pull of the addiction from the roots.

Well, I wish it was that easy. Considering pretty much all communication for me is via Whatsapp and Facebook. I rarely pick up the phone anymore to call anyone. But there has got to be plan of action. At least let social media know – They do not rule my life.

The Kissanpur ad (see link below) is phenomenally cute and got me a little teary eyed. But I decided there were a few things I was already doing and  I just needed to add a few more things to my list and I would be on my way to freedom again.

A few months back I quit my vegetable garden due to a monkey menace. I recently started planting seeds again. I even plucked a few lady fingers this past week. But better still every morning last week from 6-7 am, DH and I went up to the terrace and started cleaning up the area to make space for my kitchen garden. We cleared up the pots, planted a few seeds and sad down with our cup of tea afterward to enjoy our menial work. We never took our phones up with us. This was step one to freedom.

This week I decided I would turn off my phone internet at least for a couple our hours during the day time and all night! I really do not understand why I have my phone data plan or Wi-Fi ON while I am sleeping. Unfortunately current communication methods, I cannot cut off WhatsApp completely – but I am on my way to freedom.

I have two more plans and if they are successful, I will blog about it. But for right now enjoy this simply cute Kissanpur Ad!

Kissanput "Real Joy of Togetherness" Video 

This blog was written for ##RealTogetherness

http://www.kissanpur.com/.

The Sanguine and the Melancholic - Ziva's world

There is this pretty cool thing that I discovered recently. TEMPERAMENTS. We each have a different temperament
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_temperaments
Lots of things are involved in how our temperaments are formed. As part of a marriage seminar, Suresh and I took the temperament test.
I am a Choleric
Suresh is a Phelgmatic.
Suddenly my husband made so much sense to me! I have always loved him! But now he made sense!
As a consequence of the temperament analysis I now walk around looking at people through the eye glass of temperaments! I am not judging - its just that they make more sense!

Guess who comes under the scrutiny of this eye glass! Of course Isaac and Ziva.
Yesterday I was talking to Isaac and Ziva about the paralyzed man and his four friends from the book of Matthew 9:2-6. The story is about four friends bringing their paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed. Ahhh - Good friends! The ones who stick around even when you are paralyzed.

I finished the story and asked Isaac
Me: Who is your best friend Isaac?
Isaac (Without a blink): Jeremey
Me: Who is your best friend Ziva?
Ziva: Suzanna and Natania and Akshaya and Aaron and Audrey!
Me: OK Ziva! But tell me one name who is your best friend!
Ziva (Pause ... whines) : But Amma ... I want all the girls and all the boys to be my best friend!

Typical Sanguine!  They love you the most and forget you the fastest ;)

Read to me mommy! A million times more

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Read more: The Sound Of Music - My Favorite Things (maria) Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Reading has been by far our favorite thing to do together. I remember reading Isaac his very first book when he was 3 months old. By age 9 months, I could leave Isaac in any corner of the house with a stack of board book and find him flipping through them when I returned 15 minutes later. 

I slacked a little with Ziva when she was a new born. But in the last year made up for it by reading to her books from Isaac's age group. She used to be a poor listener but now has patience of a 5-year-old listening to books I read to Isaac and answering questions I ask him.

Every day is read to me day. With Isaac now reading, I occasionally find him pouring over pages trying to figure out words and put together sentences. But we still sit together and devour books. I love the books as much as they do.

But I can never forget where we started. There were those first few books that got me started and kept me going. I love reading and have read several books more than once. But in the past 5 years there have been a few books I have read a few million times plus or minus a few thousands here and there.

Its the books that would calm the cranky sick baby. 

Its the books that would keep the wriggly wiggly baby calm in my lap as I sat through church. 

Its the books that would make an impatient toddler settle in his car sear for a six-hour drive to Timbuktu.

Its the books that would keep the little one sitting still on the potty with a mommy sitting close by with fingers crossed hoping that today would be the day that her little one would finally get trained.

Its the books that made nap time easier and wake up times happier.

These are my list of favorite baby/toddler/ pre-schooler books. I still have these, my fiver year old still ravages through them and so I am not sharing!!!

Good night moon by Maragret Wise Brown

The silliest little rhyme there is to be found. But the loveliest little lullaby to put both mommy and baby to sleep. This was the first book I ready to Isaac. We still read it and we still love it! When I read it to Ziva, I found a new perspective : ' Look for the mouse in each page' and just like that I the book found new meaning to my second born. Love it

Runaway bunny by Maragret Wise Brown

Another lovely book by the same author of Good night moon. This one makes you want to hug your little toddler closer as they look to runaway! Both Isaac and Ziva loved listening to how I would run and catch them where ever they went!

Big Red Barn by Maragret Wise Brown

Again from the author of Good night moon comes a story about all the barn animals. Lovely little rhyme about the farm from dawn to dusk. Lovely little wake up son or lullaby!

Barnyard dance by Sandra Boyton

This crazy book, could possibly be Isaac and Ziva's introduction to a rap song!  A fun book to rhyme and rap and dance with.

The going to bed book  by Sandra Boyton

Another book form the author of Barnyard Dance and a perfect glance into the life of the animals in Noah's Ark. Love the imagination of the author on what all the animals must have done on the Ark before they went to sleep.

Time for bed  by Mem Fox

The sweetest way to say good night to my little ones. A sweet way to convince them to close their sleepy eyes and hug and kiss mommy goodnight.

Hush little baby a folk song

This is Ziva's favorite. From age 18 months till recently every night Suresh would sing this song to close the day.

They say its never too early to sing or read to a child and I would say its never to late to read these books to your little one. To all the mommies who read the same book millions times - I salute you!
#EveryDayIsMothersDay

#MothersDay

Motherhood : An instinct or a calling ?

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright.
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

 It seemed like the days were going from bad to worse. He seemed to wake up every morning and get into a foul mood in a matter of seconds. I was not sure what I was doing wrong. Was this terrible fours? But by age four their mood swings were supposed to settle down. Why then was he getting grumpier by the day?
I began to think I was a terrible mother. But then why was it only my older one getting the whiners! Isaac seemed to be taking issues with almost about anything that was happening or about to happen! Ziva seemed fine and she was the one who should have been in her terrible twos' mood swings!

A brief description of the personalities of my two kids. It’s hard to believe that they both started from my womb because they are poles apart. Ziva is expressive and exuberant. Isaac is the silent killer type. I would not say either of them are introverts but the way they show their affection is so different. Ziva was willing to hug and kiss me anytime. But Isaac felt security in just coming and holding my hand.

If Ziva fell, she needed to be picked up and hugged and she spent at least 5 minutes hiding her face in my neck shedding her tears there. Isaac on the other hand would let out a strong frustrated yelp when he got hurt. Then he would settle down on his own. As a result he got hugged a lot less.

I have never realized how important it was for children to have body contact with mothers. But now that I look at the personalities of my children, I realize that the science and logic behind the ‘hug’ is far under-rated.

Ziva did not get hugs because she was cute, but rather because she demanded it in her own pleasant way. Isaac on the other hand needed the hugs but did not get enough of it because of his pseudo-independent personality.

Some say motherhood is a ‘calling’. I think motherhood is an ‘instinct’ and HUGS are a ‘calling’. The ‘instinct’ is because I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone who would mildly hurt my child physically or emotionally. The ‘calling’ because I need to know when exactly to provide that emotional and physical security my little one needs even if he doesn’t demand it.

Our morning routines usually involved Ziva coming down on her own when she woke up and running into our arms for a hug. Isaac on other hand lay in bed for several minutes in his own world (probably redefining the laws of physics and motion!). When I called out to him to come down he would come and sit at the table to drink milk. No hugs!  No 'Good Mornings'!

Then one morning I happened to go upstairs to pick up something and found him awake, in his dream world. I picked him up and gave him a long tight hug and a few seconds later I felt his arms tightening around me as he enjoyed the mommy-and-him moment. I knew I had struck a chord. My motherhood 'calling'  knew that this ‘hug’ was the answer to all the mood swings and craziness. I knew my calling was to make sure he got all the hugs he needed.

Our days began to pick up. Every morning involved big wake up 'Good morning' and long pauses in busy morning schedules to just hug each other. We now even do a group hug (Isaac, Ziva and Me).
Our afternoon naps begin with a 'Happy napping' call. Our days end with 'Good night' and long tight hugs before we all pass out into sweet dreams. Adding to the lullaby in the beginning

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright
Two little arms that hug so tight
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/through-my-mothers-eyes/article/motherhood-an-instinct-or-a-calling

The New Generation - Things we never said to our parents

I find my son and daughter telling me things. Things that make me wonder 'Did I ever say that to my mother or father'. I am not a lovy dovy person. I am totally practical. They way I show my love is by doing things for you. Like picking up your socks or baking a cake!
But these two little munchkins come up with the perfect liners at the perfect time that make you want to hold your chest and say 'Oh My do I really deserve this LOVE'.
My top five favorites are
1. 'I love you Amma': I don't believe I every told my parents I loved them. Maybe  they felt it when I was obedient or did as they told me (which was not very often either). But come the new Generation and I get so many 'I love you's'. And its not only about the 'I love you's', its the timing. Usually its when either I walk in to the door or when Isaac or Ziva walk in after a park visit. A hug and and 'I love you' and the days is perfect! Makes every day fell like Mothers Day #EveryDayIsMothersDay #MothersDay

2. 'I miss you Amma': I never said this to my parents. Even when I saw them after a 3 month long summer vacation where me and my sister were packed off to Kerala to be with our grandparents. Its not that I did not miss them - its just  - I guess our generation. But with Isaac and Ziva even a 15 minutes trip to the grocery store and back and I get a 'I missed you Amma'. Heart melting and reaching for the tissue box.

3. 'Don't take for so long OK' : This is another version of the ' I miss you'. As I was packing my bag for a baking course I was planning on spending the whole Saturday at, I go this little piece of advise ' Amma don't take for so long OK - come back soon'.  Whether it was the sweetness in the structure of the sentence or the innocence with which it was said I don't know! Its  just makes me seem so special! #EveryDayIsMothersDay

4. 'Have fun Amma!' : This was right after I sat Isaac and Ziva down for a conversation on how I would go for a baking class and learn to make yummy things for them. They listened very carefully as I told them to be good and not trouble Appa. As I got ready to walk out of the door I got this call 'Have fun Amma'. 

5. Classic: This is probably the one that goes on top of the list. It was a conversation between me and Ziva that I should have recorded. Three and half year old Ziva had just watched 'Cinderella' with her cousins. As she was playing with her dolls back home I heard her say
' Yes Step mother'. I stopped
' Ziva who is the step mother' . Ziva coyly responded
' Cinderella's mother'
' Am a step mother' I asked wondering what she understood about a step mother.
' No step mother gets very angry' Ziva responded
' I get very angry Ziva' I edged her on
' Yes but you get very angry and then you get very happy with me. '
It seemed like the most philosophical way of explaining to a three year old about the mother who loved her and therefore had to correct her. She gave my mother skill justification and a guarantee stamp with those innocent word!

#EveryDayIsMothersDay and #MothersDay

This blog is written for a mother's day blogging contest New Generation

Love in a time of crisis #together

The true test of a marriage is definitely how a couple withstands crisis. While I cannot say that Suresh and I have had great trials and tribulations, we have seen a fair share of up’s and downs. Starting with homesickness, which was before we were married, to the loss of a dear one, we have been broken and still stand together.

A recent crisis that I thought would be interesting to share.  This one was not as emotional as a loss of a dear one but yet drove us up each other nerves in the matter of a few days.

We finally sealed the deal on a house in November. After 3 years of trying to get our finances together and being very picky about staying in the same community we were able to move to a house … right next door. I would not call it a dream home since I really do not have any idea of what my dream home would look like. But I definitely was looking forward to decorating this house and calling it my own. As we started planning changes in the house Suresh said 'Lets just move in! We can slowly make changes.' I , on the other hand, wanted to renovate the bathrooms. Now bathrooms are a pet peeve for me and while the new house had never been used, the tiles were not exactly my 'style'.

Suresh haggled 'One' bathroom. I did not give in. All 'four' bathrooms renovated was my demand. And then began our crisis which lasted 4 months.

As we broke the tiles and choose new one for the floors and walls, we never thought renovating bathrooms would be such a crisis. The contractor we chose was terrible. The workers were lazy and when time came to move into the new house, not a single bathroom was ready. 

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'I told you not to do this'

But he did not say a word!

One week later we managed to get the contractors out of the house and then, it started to leak. Not a small leak. A big smelly leak. Drip! Drip!

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'We should not have done this!'

But he did not say a word! 

It took us a whole month and a plumber who came every single day to our house to fix all the goof ups made by the previous contractor. As I complained about the never ending work and the constant drilling noise I was expecting DH to burst in flames and yell back.

I was waiting to hear from the mouth of DH 'You did not listen to me!'

But he did not say a word! 

We finally made it through the craziness together and have started enjoying the peace of our new home. While some women may think love is diamonds and roses, I am definitely one that believes that 'Love' is standing together in the time of crisis. Love is a husband who doesn't point out your mistakes!

This post has been written for #together for Housing.com.