Happy - Sad ! The new household word

I believe every household has it own set of unique words that get used. Some of it makes perfect sense while others are just for the family.
We have several of them in the Joel household. Starting from pet names all the way to code words for the big and small job. Well the big and small job are not really much of code words.
Pet names were created by dad who so dislikes second names. Bumbaloos and Tutoos for the two munchkins.
We also adopted words from some of our favorite shows - like Zrrrbbbtt from the 'Cosby show'. Zrbbttt aka Strawberry kisses.
But this recent one 'Happy- Sad' is probably my favorite. It started with when we got deep into Missionary stories with homeschool. I think it was two years ago that I was reading to Isaac 'Missionary Stories with the Millers'. I usually am a relatively emotionless person. But this one story got to me and as the story ended I was crying.
Are you sad Amma?
Yes?
And I got a much needed hug.
A few days later we were watching a video by Samsung. The one with the blind kids :)

Again I was in tears.
Amma you are sad?
No :). I am Happy sad.

And just like it became a household word. Every time I cried after that, for stories I read or videos we watched together, I was asked
Amma are you Happy Sad?

Yesterday we watched this video

And again I got all teary!  Maybe because I feel to some extent I have sucked out the color from my kids lives. Because I also recently feel drained of any color!
Amma are you Happy Sad
Kind of !
So to we decide to do a Happy sad emoji :)

 

And then life changed forever! First time parents!

Every so often I do this thing where I check time in another country. Usually it is either US, if hubby is travelling or UTC because I forget to turn on my work timer.

Today I am thinking of a time long ago. 6 years to be exact. And so I typed into google ‘Time in US’

7:39 pm: Washington DC.

That sounds about right and since I was about 50 minutes from Washington DC I think I was in the mall right now. Columbia mall to be exact. I was eating my last meal as a married woman. Tomorrow I would be a mom! Yes October 15 2009 about 7 pm, DH dragged me to the mall for a walk and a meal. All I wanted to do was sit on the sofa.

I had hoped ‘Isaac’ would be born on October 15 since it was my father’s birthday. I really wanted him to be birthday partners with my dad whom I had lost about 18 months before. But Isaac decide he needed just a few hours more to come out, drawing the date to October 16 2009.

I still remember I ate ‘gyros’. Probably the worst ‘gyros’ every. DH ate his favorite ‘five guy burgers’ and I think he did share a few fries with me.

I waddled all over the mall. Yes literally waddled like a duck. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Little did I know that the night was going to get too exciting to sleep. Just as I hit the bed, I had to ‘pee’ yet again for the umpteenth time. I sat up and then it happened.

‘Suresh … my water broke!’

DH who had probably drifted off just a little into dreamland jumped off this bed. You could see the excitement on his face. I think he probably expected the baby to be there. Time on the clock was probably midnight. We had to wait another 15 hours to see our little boy. He took his own sweet time to arrive and could not be rushed any sooner.

The rule in the US was if you are not in pain you do not come to the Hospital. So when I called my midwife, she told me to eat something and try to sleep some. SLEEP some!!!! I was going to be a mom. There was no way I was going to sleep. We waited for a few hours and then unable to hold in our excitement drove to the hospital and got settled in.

And then the wait began. They say ‘No pain .. No gain’. Well whoever wrote that has obviously never been induced for labor pain. The actual labor pain started at about noon. By 1 pm I was begging for the epidural. At 2 pm I was fast asleep enjoying some pain free rest!

Finally at about 5 pm, Isaac decided to it was time to make his grand entry into the world. And just like that he opened my womb!

The beginning of a long roller coaster journey called motherhood.7 years of waiting, 15 hours of labor and then all else is bliss!

The New Generation - Things we never said to our parents

I find my son and daughter telling me things. Things that make me wonder 'Did I ever say that to my mother or father'. I am not a lovy dovy person. I am totally practical. They way I show my love is by doing things for you. Like picking up your socks or baking a cake!
But these two little munchkins come up with the perfect liners at the perfect time that make you want to hold your chest and say 'Oh My do I really deserve this LOVE'.
My top five favorites are
1. 'I love you Amma': I don't believe I every told my parents I loved them. Maybe  they felt it when I was obedient or did as they told me (which was not very often either). But come the new Generation and I get so many 'I love you's'. And its not only about the 'I love you's', its the timing. Usually its when either I walk in to the door or when Isaac or Ziva walk in after a park visit. A hug and and 'I love you' and the days is perfect! Makes every day fell like Mothers Day #EveryDayIsMothersDay #MothersDay

2. 'I miss you Amma': I never said this to my parents. Even when I saw them after a 3 month long summer vacation where me and my sister were packed off to Kerala to be with our grandparents. Its not that I did not miss them - its just  - I guess our generation. But with Isaac and Ziva even a 15 minutes trip to the grocery store and back and I get a 'I missed you Amma'. Heart melting and reaching for the tissue box.

3. 'Don't take for so long OK' : This is another version of the ' I miss you'. As I was packing my bag for a baking course I was planning on spending the whole Saturday at, I go this little piece of advise ' Amma don't take for so long OK - come back soon'.  Whether it was the sweetness in the structure of the sentence or the innocence with which it was said I don't know! Its  just makes me seem so special! #EveryDayIsMothersDay

4. 'Have fun Amma!' : This was right after I sat Isaac and Ziva down for a conversation on how I would go for a baking class and learn to make yummy things for them. They listened very carefully as I told them to be good and not trouble Appa. As I got ready to walk out of the door I got this call 'Have fun Amma'. 

5. Classic: This is probably the one that goes on top of the list. It was a conversation between me and Ziva that I should have recorded. Three and half year old Ziva had just watched 'Cinderella' with her cousins. As she was playing with her dolls back home I heard her say
' Yes Step mother'. I stopped
' Ziva who is the step mother' . Ziva coyly responded
' Cinderella's mother'
' Am a step mother' I asked wondering what she understood about a step mother.
' No step mother gets very angry' Ziva responded
' I get very angry Ziva' I edged her on
' Yes but you get very angry and then you get very happy with me. '
It seemed like the most philosophical way of explaining to a three year old about the mother who loved her and therefore had to correct her. She gave my mother skill justification and a guarantee stamp with those innocent word!

#EveryDayIsMothersDay and #MothersDay

This blog is written for a mother's day blogging contest New Generation

Happiness is ... #Iamappy

Sometime we trivialize our day, our week, our month and our life. It seems uninteresting and simple. In a world that strives for exotic and adventurous, it is the simplicity of life that actually puts the smiles on our faces. Here is my little plate and all that makes me smile in my simple everyday life.

What is happiness?

Is it the house I just bought? No! It’s my 5 year old son making perfect ‘8’s’ on a bicycle without training wheels in front of this house.

Is it my perfectly painted walls? No! It’s my 3 year using her finger to write an ‘A’ for the first time by herself.

Is it the new car that drives into my garage? No! It’s the man behind the driving wheel who we are glad to have home after a long day’s work.

Is it watching the world cup on TV? No it watching my 5 year old running to hit a goal as he plays soccer.

Is it watching songs on youtube? No its listening to my 3 year sing ‘Isty bitsy Spider’ … in Hindi … for the 1000^th time.

Is it sitting in an elite café drinking some exotic coffee? No it’s sitting on the kitchen counter sipping a hot cup of chai with DH and talking about our day.

Is it the perfect vacation to Hawaii that I want to plan? No! It’s the impromptu picnic in the park with sandwiches, bananas, a camera and two happy carefree kids.

Is it the high speed internet that works to perfection? No! It’s ‘DH’ who makes sure that no matter which corner in the house I want to plop down and pull up the internet, its running ‘high’ speed!

Is it the beautiful tomatoes on my plants in the kitchen garden? No! It’s the little hands that grab at them and the little mouths that relish every little piece of the tomato.

Is it the fabulous oven with 11 methods of cooking? No! It’s the eagerness of the faces watching the pizza cooking through the closed oven door.

Is it sipping wine at a fancy restaurant with the perfect ambiance? No! It’s sitting in a ‘Thattukada’ with  many hands being dipped into my plate trying to get a piece of what I ordered.

Is it the perfect job in the perfect office with plenty of privacy? No! It’s being within hands reach of little hands that constantly touch my computer preventing me from getting work done.

Is it peace and quiet and the freedom to enjoy an awesome book? No! It’s reading ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘Curious George’ for the hundredth time.

Happiness has several forms and at different phases in our lives different things make us happy. The questions at the beginning of each sentence were things that made me happy a few years ago. The answers are the things that make me happy now. I know these will change. In each of our circumstances if we can find the ‘trivial’ things in life to keep us happy, we reach a place called contentment and knowing that right now in my life I am able to enjoy the things that bring me contentment, well that makes me happy.

This post has been written for #Iamappy  Coca-Cola India  . Check out their ad

TMI - Facebook and all the news I give to it.

There was this day when I figured out that I could tag the places I have visited in the world on Facebook. I got finger happy that day and kept adding places I had been to. Now I thought it would show up only if someone checked out my Facebook page... I didn't realize that it would instantly start popping up on my friends updates! A friend of Suresh's spoke to him that weekend and asked Suresh what was wrong with me .... he was worried that I was sharing too much of Facebook. Well I was a bit embarrassed. My intention had not been to gloat about my travels ... or maybe it was.

 Me showing off my baby boy on Facebook or something

What do we share on Facebook? There was this article I read on how we 'lie' on Facebook! I just cannot seem to find that article. But it went on and on about how people write all the fluffy stuff that makes it seem like their life is perfect from the outside.
While I did think that the article was perfectly true ... I prefer it that way. I rather see someone enjoying themselves than see the 'real' picture. It seems to some that they would rather see sadness and reality ... but to me ... I like it when my friends status says 'Great Vacation' at ...' or 'Wonderful meal at ...' or 'Had a breakthrough!' or 'hubby gave me coffee in bed'   or  'kids cleaned up'... I really do not like an update that says 'Depressed' ... or 'Sick' ... If I wanted to hear that I would be calling you and saying hello. I wouldn't be just your Facebook friend.
I like hearing encouraging stories on Facebook. I like seeing my friends get married, have babies and in general be happy. It makes me feel happy when I open my Facebook page and there are pictures of happy people. Occasionally I do not mind supporting an animal abuse page ... and I know the pictures may be sad.   But I like happy pictures ... smiling faces .... engagement rings and healthy babies. And I hope I myself to tell you about my happy travels... wonderful hubby ... great cup of coffee  ...  wonderful new shoes and perfect kiddos. So please expect TMI (too much info) on Facebook ... detailed blogs and hopefully happy stories from me.

I was recently at a dry pastel classes and the ladies were talking about how we do the slightest things and put it on Facebook. It is funny ... and I enjoy the laugh!

Lesson 3 : Artsy Craftsy : Don't waste your time being sad.

By week three the group of 16 kids had set into some sort of dynamics. I never knew kids could have such dynamics. There were sets of friends, the one single one left out, there were the ones dedicated to their work, there were the ones getting into trouble constantly. And then there were the moody ones. These were the ones who stood in a corner refusing to be part of the group. These were  ones who did not want to do what Kanchan said .. but had their own agenda. Everyone had a mood swing day. Surprisingly all the crazy characteristics came out in the last week. I guess we had all gotten comfortable with each other! In between all these sanguine, melancholic, choleric and phlegmatic personalities I found myself being very very cheerful. (Thanks to e-City NLF for introducing the personalities to me - I think there was one week where I was sure that 'sanguine' was the toilet paper word of the day for all the folks there!)
I think art does that to you. It bring you together in a strange way.  Or I just like hanging out with kids!
It was one of those days when Kanchan turned up her volume and said 'Why are you sad ... dont you want to have fun! Don't waste your time being sad!'
It was a life lesson right there. I don't know if the kids got it. But I hope they remember that line all their life ... because that is what life is about.
Lesson 2: Don't waste your time being sad .... there is so much to be happy and thankful for.
I had been sad on Monday morning that week. I knew this was the last week at Artsy Craftsy and while I knew I would be back for art class with Isaac, I knew I would never see the 16 kids together in one room again. As I spoke to 'A' a 12 year old on the last day ... I told her 'Oh I will see you again.. I am coming for Kanchan aunty's art class' . 'A' reminded me ... 'Aunty you will go for the adult class and Isaac will go for the kiddies class ... I will never see you !'
But with one sentence from Artsy Craftsy's CEO ... I was back and jumpy again. I had so much to be thankful for and I had learnt so much the past three weeks. Here is what week three looked like.

 

The younger kids made coaster of foam paper and old CD's. It was so innovative and an excellent way to recycle CD's. I always wanted to do something  with old CD's and here was the perfect craft project. While putting them together 'R' got especially excited .... 'Pizza he yelled out'. I said ... 'No R I think its  a flower' ... I hear a chuckle behind me and I realized I was so wrong. I look at Kanchan .... 'What is it then?' ...' 'Lemon and orange slices!.'

 The older kids worked on Jute coasters. One coaster was a Warli painting and the other was pretty flowers.

The magnets were my favorite. For the Juniors it was so simple and pretty. A smiley face and a strawberry.

Isaac gladly shared the strawberry with Ziva keeping the smiley face for himself.

The older kids had a little more intricately designed fridge magnets. Kanchan kept the finished products and glazed them overnight with Varnish! I never knew you could do that. They were so pretty the next day ... all shiny and looking very professional. It was almost like someone had fired them up in an oven.

One the third day, the juniors made folding cards with nice thick paper and pretty flowers.

The older kids drew a pretty tree with some blossoms and then folded them up into pretty fans.

Day four brought in some no-heat cooking with bread and vegetables. There was cheese too which got nibbled on the way and some never made it on to the plate.

Day five was yet another favorite! Two hangings ... and its hard to decide which was prettier! The Sunlight catcher by the little kids was so pretty and looks even prettier as it hangs on the door in our balcony.

The starry night hanging was very pretty with blues and gold mixed together.

  

And just like that ... summer camp was over. I came home to get online and check when the next camp would be and saw that Artsy Craftsy does camps in the Diwali and Christmas holidays too! While both Isaac and I may join regular drawing/ Art/ Craft classes ... there is something very special about a camp.

Is it that you spend three hours a day with  a few people?... Is it that you learn so much ?... Or is it that you make such nice friends that you can't stop talking about them?  Isaac woke up on Monday morning one week later and while speaking to Ziva promised her 'I will take you to Kanchan aunty's house Ok Ziva. We will go for summer camp  and do painting and coloring!'

PS: my two cents ... I dont think anybody can be categorized into one of the four-personality types mentioned in the beginning. I think our life circumstances push us to being being more of one than the other in each part of our life. So we are technically all four mixed together ... bringing out one dominant personality depending on what is going on around us .... my two cents!