Showing posts with label mothers day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers day. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Motherhood : An instinct or a calling ?

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright.
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

 It seemed like the days were going from bad to worse. He seemed to wake up every morning and get into a foul mood in a matter of seconds. I was not sure what I was doing wrong. Was this terrible fours? But by age four their mood swings were supposed to settle down. Why then was he getting grumpier by the day?
I began to think I was a terrible mother. But then why was it only my older one getting the whiners! Isaac seemed to be taking issues with almost about anything that was happening or about to happen! Ziva seemed fine and she was the one who should have been in her terrible twos' mood swings!

A brief description of the personalities of my two kids. It’s hard to believe that they both started from my womb because they are poles apart. Ziva is expressive and exuberant. Isaac is the silent killer type. I would not say either of them are introverts but the way they show their affection is so different. Ziva was willing to hug and kiss me anytime. But Isaac felt security in just coming and holding my hand.

If Ziva fell, she needed to be picked up and hugged and she spent at least 5 minutes hiding her face in my neck shedding her tears there. Isaac on the other hand would let out a strong frustrated yelp when he got hurt. Then he would settle down on his own. As a result he got hugged a lot less.

I have never realized how important it was for children to have body contact with mothers. But now that I look at the personalities of my children, I realize that the science and logic behind the ‘hug’ is far under-rated.

Ziva did not get hugs because she was cute, but rather because she demanded it in her own pleasant way. Isaac on the other hand needed the hugs but did not get enough of it because of his pseudo-independent personality.

Some say motherhood is a ‘calling’. I think motherhood is an ‘instinct’ and HUGS are a ‘calling’. The ‘instinct’ is because I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone who would mildly hurt my child physically or emotionally. The ‘calling’ because I need to know when exactly to provide that emotional and physical security my little one needs even if he doesn’t demand it.

Our morning routines usually involved Ziva coming down on her own when she woke up and running into our arms for a hug. Isaac on other hand lay in bed for several minutes in his own world (probably redefining the laws of physics and motion!). When I called out to him to come down he would come and sit at the table to drink milk. No hugs!  No 'Good Mornings'!

Then one morning I happened to go upstairs to pick up something and found him awake, in his dream world. I picked him up and gave him a long tight hug and a few seconds later I felt his arms tightening around me as he enjoyed the mommy-and-him moment. I knew I had struck a chord. My motherhood 'calling'  knew that this ‘hug’ was the answer to all the mood swings and craziness. I knew my calling was to make sure he got all the hugs he needed.

Our days began to pick up. Every morning involved big wake up 'Good morning' and long pauses in busy morning schedules to just hug each other. We now even do a group hug (Isaac, Ziva and Me).
Our afternoon naps begin with a 'Happy napping' call. Our days end with 'Good night' and long tight hugs before we all pass out into sweet dreams. Adding to the lullaby in the beginning

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright
Two little arms that hug so tight
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/through-my-mothers-eyes/article/motherhood-an-instinct-or-a-calling

Monday, May 4, 2015

The New Generation - Things we never said to our parents

I find my son and daughter telling me things. Things that make me wonder 'Did I ever say that to my mother or father'. I am not a lovy dovy person. I am totally practical. They way I show my love is by doing things for you. Like picking up your socks or baking a cake!
But these two little munchkins come up with the perfect liners at the perfect time that make you want to hold your chest and say 'Oh My do I really deserve this LOVE'.
My top five favorites are
1. 'I love you Amma': I don't believe I every told my parents I loved them. Maybe  they felt it when I was obedient or did as they told me (which was not very often either). But come the new Generation and I get so many 'I love you's'. And its not only about the 'I love you's', its the timing. Usually its when either I walk in to the door or when Isaac or Ziva walk in after a park visit. A hug and and 'I love you' and the days is perfect! Makes every day fell like Mothers Day #EveryDayIsMothersDay #MothersDay

2. 'I miss you Amma': I never said this to my parents. Even when I saw them after a 3 month long summer vacation where me and my sister were packed off to Kerala to be with our grandparents. Its not that I did not miss them - its just  - I guess our generation. But with Isaac and Ziva even a 15 minutes trip to the grocery store and back and I get a 'I missed you Amma'. Heart melting and reaching for the tissue box.

3. 'Don't take for so long OK' : This is another version of the ' I miss you'. As I was packing my bag for a baking course I was planning on spending the whole Saturday at, I go this little piece of advise ' Amma don't take for so long OK - come back soon'.  Whether it was the sweetness in the structure of the sentence or the innocence with which it was said I don't know! Its  just makes me seem so special! #EveryDayIsMothersDay

4. 'Have fun Amma!' : This was right after I sat Isaac and Ziva down for a conversation on how I would go for a baking class and learn to make yummy things for them. They listened very carefully as I told them to be good and not trouble Appa. As I got ready to walk out of the door I got this call 'Have fun Amma'. 

5. Classic: This is probably the one that goes on top of the list. It was a conversation between me and Ziva that I should have recorded. Three and half year old Ziva had just watched 'Cinderella' with her cousins. As she was playing with her dolls back home I heard her say
' Yes Step mother'. I stopped
' Ziva who is the step mother' . Ziva coyly responded
' Cinderella's mother'
' Am a step mother' I asked wondering what she understood about a step mother.
' No step mother gets very angry' Ziva responded
' I get very angry Ziva' I edged her on
' Yes but you get very angry and then you get very happy with me. '
It seemed like the most philosophical way of explaining to a three year old about the mother who loved her and therefore had to correct her. She gave my mother skill justification and a guarantee stamp with those innocent word!

#EveryDayIsMothersDay and #MothersDay

This blog is written for a mother's day blogging contest New Generation

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Love the way ...


I love the way you pout when you are thinking ....
I love the way you pout when you are sad
I love the way you wrap your arms around me for a nap
I love the way you pretend to be sorry ...
I love the way you pretend to read a  story
I love the way you make me read the same story ... again and again
I love the way you flutter your eyes when you are afraid of me ..
I love the way you say ' no vadi no vadi' ... like I ever give you one too many
I love the way you shut your eyes tight when I tell you to close them to sleep
I love the you drop off to sleep doing just that
I love the way you nod your head in deep conversation with me
I love the way you walk away assured that I have understood every  word
I love the way you hold my thumb ... as if no other finger would be secure enough
I love the way you say 'hold hand ... hold hand'
I love the way you poke your own belly button and squeal with laughter.
I love the the way you love being tickled ... it makes me happier.
I love the way you come looking for me in the night.
I love the way you roll you head all over me even if its midnight


But most of all I love the way you leave everything and everybody when you see me ... just to give me a hug!
Love you Ziva from the tip of your tallest hair to your cute little bottom. Love you Ziva all the way to the moon and back!


Thankful this Mother's Day for my two buttons of love. Love how special they make this day for me.