Showing posts with label mood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mood. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Motherhood : An instinct or a calling ?

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright.
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

 It seemed like the days were going from bad to worse. He seemed to wake up every morning and get into a foul mood in a matter of seconds. I was not sure what I was doing wrong. Was this terrible fours? But by age four their mood swings were supposed to settle down. Why then was he getting grumpier by the day?
I began to think I was a terrible mother. But then why was it only my older one getting the whiners! Isaac seemed to be taking issues with almost about anything that was happening or about to happen! Ziva seemed fine and she was the one who should have been in her terrible twos' mood swings!

A brief description of the personalities of my two kids. It’s hard to believe that they both started from my womb because they are poles apart. Ziva is expressive and exuberant. Isaac is the silent killer type. I would not say either of them are introverts but the way they show their affection is so different. Ziva was willing to hug and kiss me anytime. But Isaac felt security in just coming and holding my hand.

If Ziva fell, she needed to be picked up and hugged and she spent at least 5 minutes hiding her face in my neck shedding her tears there. Isaac on the other hand would let out a strong frustrated yelp when he got hurt. Then he would settle down on his own. As a result he got hugged a lot less.

I have never realized how important it was for children to have body contact with mothers. But now that I look at the personalities of my children, I realize that the science and logic behind the ‘hug’ is far under-rated.

Ziva did not get hugs because she was cute, but rather because she demanded it in her own pleasant way. Isaac on the other hand needed the hugs but did not get enough of it because of his pseudo-independent personality.

Some say motherhood is a ‘calling’. I think motherhood is an ‘instinct’ and HUGS are a ‘calling’. The ‘instinct’ is because I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone who would mildly hurt my child physically or emotionally. The ‘calling’ because I need to know when exactly to provide that emotional and physical security my little one needs even if he doesn’t demand it.

Our morning routines usually involved Ziva coming down on her own when she woke up and running into our arms for a hug. Isaac on other hand lay in bed for several minutes in his own world (probably redefining the laws of physics and motion!). When I called out to him to come down he would come and sit at the table to drink milk. No hugs!  No 'Good Mornings'!

Then one morning I happened to go upstairs to pick up something and found him awake, in his dream world. I picked him up and gave him a long tight hug and a few seconds later I felt his arms tightening around me as he enjoyed the mommy-and-him moment. I knew I had struck a chord. My motherhood 'calling'  knew that this ‘hug’ was the answer to all the mood swings and craziness. I knew my calling was to make sure he got all the hugs he needed.

Our days began to pick up. Every morning involved big wake up 'Good morning' and long pauses in busy morning schedules to just hug each other. We now even do a group hug (Isaac, Ziva and Me).
Our afternoon naps begin with a 'Happy napping' call. Our days end with 'Good night' and long tight hugs before we all pass out into sweet dreams. Adding to the lullaby in the beginning

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright
Two little arms that hug so tight
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/through-my-mothers-eyes/article/motherhood-an-instinct-or-a-calling

Monday, June 3, 2013

Lesson 3 : Artsy Craftsy : Don't waste your time being sad.

By week three the group of 16 kids had set into some sort of dynamics. I never knew kids could have such dynamics. There were sets of friends, the one single one left out, there were the ones dedicated to their work, there were the ones getting into trouble constantly. And then there were the moody ones. These were the ones who stood in a corner refusing to be part of the group. These were  ones who did not want to do what Kanchan said .. but had their own agenda. Everyone had a mood swing day. Surprisingly all the crazy characteristics came out in the last week. I guess we had all gotten comfortable with each other! In between all these sanguine, melancholic, choleric and phlegmatic personalities I found myself being very very cheerful. (Thanks to e-City NLF for introducing the personalities to me - I think there was one week where I was sure that 'sanguine' was the toilet paper word of the day for all the folks there!)
I think art does that to you. It bring you together in a strange way.  Or I just like hanging out with kids!
It was one of those days when Kanchan turned up her volume and said 'Why are you sad ... dont you want to have fun! Don't waste your time being sad!'
It was a life lesson right there. I don't know if the kids got it. But I hope they remember that line all their life ... because that is what life is about.
Lesson 2: Don't waste your time being sad .... there is so much to be happy and thankful for.
I had been sad on Monday morning that week. I knew this was the last week at Artsy Craftsy and while I knew I would be back for art class with Isaac, I knew I would never see the 16 kids together in one room again. As I spoke to 'A' a 12 year old on the last day ... I told her 'Oh I will see you again.. I am coming for Kanchan aunty's art class' . 'A' reminded me ... 'Aunty you will go for the adult class and Isaac will go for the kiddies class ... I will never see you !'
But with one sentence from Artsy Craftsy's CEO ... I was back and jumpy again. I had so much to be thankful for and I had learnt so much the past three weeks. Here is what week three looked like.

 
The younger kids made coaster of foam paper and old CD's. It was so innovative and an excellent way to recycle CD's. I always wanted to do something  with old CD's and here was the perfect craft project. While putting them together 'R' got especially excited .... 'Pizza he yelled out'. I said ... 'No R I think its  a flower' ... I hear a chuckle behind me and I realized I was so wrong. I look at Kanchan .... 'What is it then?' ...' 'Lemon and orange slices!.'

 The older kids worked on Jute coasters. One coaster was a Warli painting and the other was pretty flowers.


The magnets were my favorite. For the Juniors it was so simple and pretty. A smiley face and a strawberry.


Isaac gladly shared the strawberry with Ziva keeping the smiley face for himself.


The older kids had a little more intricately designed fridge magnets. Kanchan kept the finished products and glazed them overnight with Varnish! I never knew you could do that. They were so pretty the next day ... all shiny and looking very professional. It was almost like someone had fired them up in an oven.

One the third day, the juniors made folding cards with nice thick paper and pretty flowers.


The older kids drew a pretty tree with some blossoms and then folded them up into pretty fans.

Day four brought in some no-heat cooking with bread and vegetables. There was cheese too which got nibbled on the way and some never made it on to the plate.



Day five was yet another favorite! Two hangings ... and its hard to decide which was prettier! The Sunlight catcher by the little kids was so pretty and looks even prettier as it hangs on the door in our balcony.






The starry night hanging was very pretty with blues and gold mixed together.

  

And just like that ... summer camp was over. I came home to get online and check when the next camp would be and saw that Artsy Craftsy does camps in the Diwali and Christmas holidays too! While both Isaac and I may join regular drawing/ Art/ Craft classes ... there is something very special about a camp.

Is it that you spend three hours a day with  a few people?... Is it that you learn so much ?... Or is it that you make such nice friends that you can't stop talking about them?  Isaac woke up on Monday morning one week later and while speaking to Ziva promised her 'I will take you to Kanchan aunty's house Ok Ziva. We will go for summer camp  and do painting and coloring!'



PS: my two cents ... I dont think anybody can be categorized into one of the four-personality types mentioned in the beginning. I think our life circumstances push us to being being more of one than the other in each part of our life. So we are technically all four mixed together ... bringing out one dominant personality depending on what is going on around us .... my two cents!