Happiness is ... #Iamappy

Sometime we trivialize our day, our week, our month and our life. It seems uninteresting and simple. In a world that strives for exotic and adventurous, it is the simplicity of life that actually puts the smiles on our faces. Here is my little plate and all that makes me smile in my simple everyday life.

What is happiness?

Is it the house I just bought? No! It’s my 5 year old son making perfect ‘8’s’ on a bicycle without training wheels in front of this house.

Is it my perfectly painted walls? No! It’s my 3 year using her finger to write an ‘A’ for the first time by herself.

Is it the new car that drives into my garage? No! It’s the man behind the driving wheel who we are glad to have home after a long day’s work.

Is it watching the world cup on TV? No it watching my 5 year old running to hit a goal as he plays soccer.

Is it watching songs on youtube? No its listening to my 3 year sing ‘Isty bitsy Spider’ … in Hindi … for the 1000^th time.

Is it sitting in an elite café drinking some exotic coffee? No it’s sitting on the kitchen counter sipping a hot cup of chai with DH and talking about our day.

Is it the perfect vacation to Hawaii that I want to plan? No! It’s the impromptu picnic in the park with sandwiches, bananas, a camera and two happy carefree kids.

Is it the high speed internet that works to perfection? No! It’s ‘DH’ who makes sure that no matter which corner in the house I want to plop down and pull up the internet, its running ‘high’ speed!

Is it the beautiful tomatoes on my plants in the kitchen garden? No! It’s the little hands that grab at them and the little mouths that relish every little piece of the tomato.

Is it the fabulous oven with 11 methods of cooking? No! It’s the eagerness of the faces watching the pizza cooking through the closed oven door.

Is it sipping wine at a fancy restaurant with the perfect ambiance? No! It’s sitting in a ‘Thattukada’ with  many hands being dipped into my plate trying to get a piece of what I ordered.

Is it the perfect job in the perfect office with plenty of privacy? No! It’s being within hands reach of little hands that constantly touch my computer preventing me from getting work done.

Is it peace and quiet and the freedom to enjoy an awesome book? No! It’s reading ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘Curious George’ for the hundredth time.

Happiness has several forms and at different phases in our lives different things make us happy. The questions at the beginning of each sentence were things that made me happy a few years ago. The answers are the things that make me happy now. I know these will change. In each of our circumstances if we can find the ‘trivial’ things in life to keep us happy, we reach a place called contentment and knowing that right now in my life I am able to enjoy the things that bring me contentment, well that makes me happy.

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Amma - You said Stupid!

I love blaming the TV for poor language.
I love blaming external influences for my kids fighting and being rough. Just a few weeks back Isaac and Ziva were pushing each other playfully calling out 'Chota bheem'. We do not have cable in our house and they have not really had much time at other places to totally absorb the characteristics of this TV character (one I am not terribly fond of). I asked them where they got this game from and they mentioned a friend they played with. I reprimanded them and it took a few threats of spankings before they stopped playing it. I enjoyed laying the blame on some TV show that was played in someone else house.
I enjoyed blaming Suresh for screaming IDIOT in the car every time a bike or car cut him off on the road. I emotionally threatened him that the kids would pick up the word and start using it.

I enjoyed blaming everyone and everything else and living in my little bubble of holiness ... till Isaac burst my bubble!
I cannot remember where or how I had told him 'Stupid' was not a good word to say. But something about it registered in him. He doesn't register phonics or numbers I teach him... but this word stays in head!

It was Sunday morning. Sunday morning is always 'crazy' morning for me. Getting things ready to get going to church may seem simple ... but it was always chaos by 10 am (when its time to leave). 
It was close to this time when I handed over multivitamin in a small cup to Isaac and Ziva.  Usually they are very good at drinking it with no spill. But on this particular morning Ziva picked her cup and turned it upside down. Laughing while she did it.'
I yelled  ' You stupid ... stupid girl! Look what you did'
I was just glad she didn't have clothes on her.
Isaac: 'Amma you said 'Stupid'. You should not say stupid'

 

I stopped! I had no words.
Me: I am sorry Isaac. I did not mean to. Ziva I am so sorry.
A few minutes later Suresh walked down the stairs.
Isaac: Appa- Amma said 'Stupid'.

BUSTED!

We think our kids are most influenced by their peers. But we always fail to see how much we can influence them. Its the small moments like the one I described above that can make and break my child's character. So all us parents out there .... think about what you are doing to set a good example, to be a good influence or build some character before you go about blaming the TV, friends and other external influences for your child's behaviour

 - Guilty mom!

A favorite quote that reminds me what a great influence we parents are on our kids

'When you teach her (your daughter), she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. If you fully understand just how profoundly you can influence your daughter's life, you would be terrified, overwhelmed, or both. Boyfriends, brothers, even husbands can't shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority she gives no other man'

From Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters - by Dr. Meg Meeker.