Why we are equal! #equality

So the thought keeps going through my head after my little blog on feminism and strong women.

http://momstheword2.blogspot.in/2017/01/feminist-or-independent-or-strong.html


We recently had a bible study where we are studying the word of God from Genesis and looking at it divided by events.
This week we were looking at the creation and the fall of man. For those who don't believe in creation... well too bad... You really cannot believe in equality or anything else! As it boils down.

So Adam was created and then made to realize that he was lonely. Don't you love God! He brings you to a point of realization  before He takes you to higher points.
Then God creates Eve and bring her to Adam. Adam's words  'At last! This is now bone of my bone!'. Adam was happy to find his EQUAL. Adam had fellowship with God. He had lots of company with the animals. But finally God created for him an EQUAL. Lot of people look at the word helper and try to tie down the woman's role as secondary. But the sequence and the events that went into creating both Man and Woman makes it clear. At last Adam had found his 'EQUAL'.
So how did this equality, gender roles and struggle for significance start. The CURSE!
Adam and Eve messed it up. They ate the only fruit they were forbidden to eat.  In response to the disobedience, God had to punish them.
The punishment for Adam
Genesis 3:17- 19

And to Adam he said,“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife  and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,  ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you;  in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;  thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;  and you shall eat the plants of the field.  By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said, ' I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;  in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to^[f] your husband,   but he shall RULE over you.'

Ah! the wages of disobedience that we still bear as women. The fight for equality!

But the Aha for the evening was this point: When Jesus came and died on the cross for each of us - He lifted the curse off us! We are no longer under the curse. We are EQUAL!

So you got a choice - believe Jesus lifted the curse and treat all equally - or spend time arguing :).

#dontneedtoargue #biblesaysitIbelieveit #believe #God'slove #Jesushasliftedthecurse

The day I married a RICH MAN

I cannot remember how the conversation came up. It had something to do with a young girl, maybe about 15 years younger than me, talking about her choice of educational field and how it would be so hard to get a job.

We were a group of about 7-8 sitting around the lunch table. The conversation was casual when this came up.

Miss XYZ: ‘Aunty it’s very hard to get a job in this field’

Me: ‘Oh just finish your course, find a rich guy and marry him’. I joked

Miss  XYZ:  ‘Yea aunty you found your rich guy!’

I wanted to laugh out loud and say ‘REALLY!!!’

I looked across to my Rich man who was happily digging into his Thali plate.  It got me nostalgic about a time long ago when such a comment would never have even been seen in our vicinity. I have been called ‘Rich’ before and I realize that it’s time to tell the story. I guess it’s one that my kids are going to hear for a long time about how ‘Your dad and I struggled’. But looking back at that time, I never thought we would have the comfort of sitting at any restaurant and ordering whatever we wanted!

There are a lot of women who have gone from their father’s house to their husband’s house. I believe they are really lucky and blessed to have men who have taken care of them all throughout. When I say taking care, I specifically mean the financial aspect of it.

I choose a slightly different path. I left my father’s home at the age of 22 with a nice big cheque that I had hoped to return to him as soon as I got a graduate scholarship. I had made the trip across the seven seas and had promised myself that I would not ask for any more financial support if I got the scholarship. If I did not get a scholarship, I would return home with my tail between my legs and do whatever my father asked me to.

I got the scholarship and sent back the cheque save a few dollars which I needed for the initial days expenditure.

$827 per month. $413 every two weeks. That was my income for the next two years. My rent shared with 4 roommates was $235 per person. Then there was groceries, telephone and electricity bills to pay. It seemed hard but I learned to budget. It was in the midst of this that I met my RICH man!

He lived a few floors below in the same apartment building.

                                    Study on the floor ... Diwan and small side table made by Suresh!

We were class mates and guess what … he too made $827 per month. $413 every two weeks. We got married and moved into a one bedroom apartment with no furniture except a bed that the RICH man had acquired from another graduate student who was leaving. We had a few vessels and plates and we cooked and ate on the floor. The rent now was $650 totally. And then there was bills to pay. We continued our studies and graduated 3 years later. Over the three years we bought a TV, we found a computer table in the dump outside our building, my rich man made some furniture and we bought a few plants.

                                                         TV stand made by Suresh

Once we graduated, life started looking up. But for the first three years of our married life, we budgeted! We spent on credit cards till we realized we could not afford to pay the cards back and so one day we cut up all our credit cards. This meant rare eating out and social outings. We enjoyed bicycle rides to buy groceries since we did not have a car. We would put on two haversacks and buy big bottles of milk and vegetables home in them riding the bicycle both ways. We budgeted $ 5 per person per week to eat out. That meant we ate only at street carts. Hot dog cart sold a hotdog for $1. Sautéed onions was 50 cents more. We budgeted eating at a restaurant only once a month and could not spend more than $20 at the restaurant.

So it wasn’t a rich man … but it was a rich life!

At the end of 3 years of marriage when we graduated … my rich man got an awesome job. I guess I really figured out what it meant to spend money was at this time. We still did not use credit cards. We bought a second hand Mazda and enjoyed many long rides. We started to travel bit more and restaurant eating was maybe twice a week. Then 2 years later I completed my residency and got a nice job and things started looking even better. None of the above would have seemed half bad if you look at us today. But the uncertainty at that point of time was a bit scary. I wonder how we just lived without worrying.

                                                         Suresh's Study table and our bed :)


Now here we are ... 14 years after marriage. Life is comfortable. People may think we are ‘Rich’ … but we know where we came from. We know the days and weeks and months of craving to eat something fancy or just spending on clothes without thinking.

We know that tomorrow is never certain. But we are very thankful for what yesterday has taught us and we are enjoying today.

A few days ago another young girl came for marital advise.

Miss ABC: ‘How important is it for the guy to be financially stable?’

Me: ‘ I married one who wasn’t  … but it worked out for me’ I laughed! ‘ It depends on how willing you are to endure the days that are not so comfortable’

I married a RICH man… he had a RICH heart  … and we had the confidence that we would make it together.

All Things Handmade! Cannanore - a lore from a loom

'Do you work?' I ask Anjali as she holds on to one of her three dogs. This passionate animal lover is an entrepreneur. About 400 meters from our home, Anjali, her three dogs, one cat, fish, daughter and husband have made their friendly abode.
'I create home furnishing' She replied, still holding on tight to the all white Boxer. That's the dogs name, not his breed!
In my head, when you say furnishing I think sofas! But when I checked out Cannanore - a lore from a loom, I realized how creative furnishing can be. Someone once said that a house becomes a home when you put up curtains. That's whats Anjali's little basement based furnishing business does. With all her pretty colors and curtains she can make a room from pure to perfect!
Anjali is a big flea fiesta person. She can be found at all events around the Bangalore city displaying her pretty products. I keep promising her that when I buy my own house, I will definitely make a huge contribution to her bank account through Cannanore-a lore from a loom.
Again a home based business. But there is something about creativity that is contagious. Yes contagious. Anjali's 12th grade daughter Shradha has her own line of designer clutches. Now that's what I call - It runs in the blood.

------------------------------------------------------ End of Flashback!

The above was a conversation I had with Anjali 3 years ago. She has come a long way! On June 29th 2014, Anjali started her store at InOrbit Mall in Whitefield. Cannanore - a lore from a loom! What started in a room in her house has now extended to ... all things handmade!
It is lovely to see an entrepreneur rise in front of your eyes. It was wonderful to see Anjali start her store and promote it through her lady friends. What is even more encouraging is the platform Anjali opened to other folks who were into making handmade things! She started with 6 brands and today has 25 brands under the same roof of Cannanore! The idea is that everything has to be hand crafted and quality driven. 

A brief conversation over Facebook with Anjali looked something like this : 'I pick and choose brands. Today of course we have some great brands who partner with us and we have regular customers who come back to us over 5-6 times to see what we have to showcase!'

There is something about women entrepreneurs that is just inspiring. It take a lot of courage to step outside the box and do something different. It take a lot of courage to take your creativity to a new level. We live in a generation where were moving into technology and leaving behind the beauty that beholds the eye. It is all about fancy and cool and so little about 'delightful'. In that generation, kudos to you Anjali ... definitely an inspiration to all the young lads and lassies! 

Women Entrepreneurs

This blog, you could say is dedicated to Sridevi ... Yes the bollywood lady!. No she's not an entrepreneur in real life (At least I dont think so). But her character in English Vinglish can definitely inspire you to be one! An Entrepreneur. The ladoo making industry must have boomed after English Vinglish!

This blog is about three Indian Entrepreneurs I have seen very closely since I moved back to India. Whats common between them and me? They are all women! It inspires me!  You could say this is in order of physical distance from my house.

Mridula Velagapudi:
Her facebook 'About' says Self employed and loving it! When I first had a conversation with Mridula and asked her what she did, I did not realize what a big part of the writing world she had her foot in. 'Content Writing' she responded very simply, like it was a part of everyone's being.
'And whats that?' I asked naively (or rather ignorantly).
'I write content for various website' She replied. 'Companies send me stuff and I write it up so they can put it on their websites'
I did come home that evening and looked up content writing. I was part of oDesk already and had put my tiny foot into the world of blog writing. But as I searched content writers, I realized this world of writing I have never known about. Writing about a company you never knew or maybe just heard about can take a lot of skill. Especially, when by writing for them you are making the 'front face' of the matter they are trying to sell to world.
When I started writing this blog I asked Mridula whether she called her 'company' anything.
'No I am freelancer' she responded. But writes she does! From  - whitepapers, Case studies, product sheets, Newsletters, Company blogs, messages for Social media platform  - to the newsletter for our association - Mridula has done her bit of writing.
But for me the interesting part of this entrepreneur is ... I see her walking her kids to the school bus each morning and I see her pick her daughter up every afternoon at 1 pm from the school bus. Once Mridula mentioned ...
'Sometimes Ishanvi can get in the way of my work'... they way I see it - at least your home for her to get in the way of! Ishanvi is Mridula's 5 year- something little girl.

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'Do you work?' I ask Anjali as she holds on to one of her three dogs. This passionate animal lover is an entrepreneur. About 400 meters from our home, Anjali, her three dogs, one cat, fish, daughter and husband have made their friendly abode.
'I create home furnishing' She replied, still holding on tight to the all white Boxer. That's the dogs name, not his breed!
In my head, when you say furnishing I think sofas! But when I checked out Cannanore - a lore from a loom, I realized how creative furnishing can be. Someone once said that a house becomes a home when you put up curtains. That's whats Anjali's little basement based furnishing business does. With all her pretty colors and curtains she can make a room from pure to perfect!
Anjali is a big flea fiesta person. She can be found at all events around the Bangalore city displaying her pretty products. I keep promising her that when I buy my own house, I will definitely make a huge contribution to her bank account through Cannanore-a lore from a loom.
Again a home based business. But there is something about creativity that is contagious. Yes contagious. Anjali's 12th grade daughter Shradha has her own line of designer clutches. Now that's what I call - It runs in the blood.

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And then there is this enthusiastic entrepreneur about 10 kms from where I live. Yes Artsy Craftsy and its CEO Kanchan have found a special space on Dayenu the past several weeks.
You cannot miss the passion for art and craft in this entrepreneur. The living room of her house is filled with kids between 3 and 12 years of age and she still manages to get across the class contents and keep her sanity. Yet another home business!
Two things stand out in this entrepreneur.
One: she shares every thing. Her knowledge of art, her resources and details to her projects. She even has DIY (do-it-yourself) kits to get you started on your own craft classes. Of course she cannot share her patience and endurance towards the kids. Kanchan recently started Creative Adda. A place that encourages and builds creativity. I look forward to seeing this business boom too!
Two: She has a very supportive family. Her two daughters fit right into all the art and craft classes. Pihu being too little get carried off! But Kuhu all of seven not only tries the projects herself but is an excellent help to mommy! Ask Kanchan where you she gets her supplies from and she replies 'I dont know - my husband Pankaj gets it for me!' Now that's what I call a supper-supportive husband.
We were at Isaac's final day performance and Suresh and Pankaj got talking. In the conversation Pankaj mentioned 'I do my work for money. At least she (pointing at Kanchan) should do it for her passion'

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So women in Bangalore --- lets find a passion --- a talent! Lets become mini-entrepreneurs!