We recently had some close friends move out of Bangalore. It was a strange mix of emotions! Laughing about old fun times and getting mopey at the thought of not seeing them often.
Suresh and I have moved several times. In fact during the first seven year of our marriage we moved
2003 January 300 E Franklin #805
2004 May 300 E Franklin #1401
2005 October 1503 Irby Drive
2007 July Lodges at Seven Oaks
2008 January 2601 Barred Owl way
2009 January 1027 S Hanover Street
2010 January 1409 Pangbourne Way
2011 November MIMS Ardendale Bangalore
You could say that we had gotten pretty good at moving and settling and packing and moving in the first seven years. It was easy to move when it was just Suresh and me. Though we had plenty of furniture. It seemed like there was nothing in particular keeping us clinging to one spot.
The last move however took a heavy toll on us. It was a big move. It also was accompanied with a significant life change. Arrival of baby #2 'Ziva'. As we made the decision to move and as we ironed out the fine details of the movers and dates and other logistics, we had forgotten one small element. We forgot to prepare our 1.5 year old. It may seem silly! You may even think that 'What can a 1.5 year old understand?'. The move to Bangalore took a heavy toll on Isaac.
This was my happy and sweet boy a few weeks before we left. The first couple months in Bangalore was a nightmare. Not too clingy a boy, he suddenly had deep separation anxiety. He would cry every morning as Appa took off to work. This made the first half of my day miserable. I tried to keep pushing through it with the hope that dad would come home soon and rescue me.
At about two weeks past birth, Isaac smiled a big broad knowing smile. A friend, who was also a pediatrician, commented - 'You guys must have smiled a lot during the pregnancy'. 2 years and one big move later and Isaac spent a lot of time crying. Whining to be precise. There was a lot of tears all the time.
Nap times were easy till 1.5 year for Isaac. I could never remember him waking up crying. In fact our favorite memory of Isaac waking up was a quiet sound we heard whispering over the baby monitor. Several times we peeked through the door and he would be lying quietly talking to his fingers or staring at the wall as if it was a piece of Picasso. Come Bangalore and I could not leave him alone at nap time. The minute I rolled out of bed he followed me. It seemed a different person.
Now five years later, I am thankful the phase is over. But a small part of me knows that moving and change is an inevitable part of life. What will I do differently this time?
Moving with someone who cannot express how their are feeling is tough business. Moving with someone who now can express a lot but doesn't understand their own emotions is far greater a turmoil and while I pray it will not happen ... Tomorrow is another day
Once I mentioned the fact that we had moved so many times, it seemed ridiculous and my brother in law mentioned that we were after all Isaac's parents and like the biblical story of Isaac's parents, Abraham and Sarah, maybe we were destined to be nomads.
How did Abraham do it? Keep moving! How did the Israelites do it? Keep walking. No stability and nothing the same.
This being said, the community of MIMS Ardendale has been the place we have stayed in the longest. (we did move between two houses less then a few meters from each other). And I am thankful for this stability. However a few months ago, in the midst of some trials I impulsively told Suresh - Lets move! For me - move is an escape route. The EJECT button. But maybe it time for me to make my peace with here and now - for the sake of Isaac and Ziva!
Suresh and I have moved several times. In fact during the first seven year of our marriage we moved
2003 January 300 E Franklin #805
2004 May 300 E Franklin #1401
2005 October 1503 Irby Drive
2007 July Lodges at Seven Oaks
2008 January 2601 Barred Owl way
2009 January 1027 S Hanover Street
2010 January 1409 Pangbourne Way
2011 November MIMS Ardendale Bangalore
You could say that we had gotten pretty good at moving and settling and packing and moving in the first seven years. It was easy to move when it was just Suresh and me. Though we had plenty of furniture. It seemed like there was nothing in particular keeping us clinging to one spot.
The last move however took a heavy toll on us. It was a big move. It also was accompanied with a significant life change. Arrival of baby #2 'Ziva'. As we made the decision to move and as we ironed out the fine details of the movers and dates and other logistics, we had forgotten one small element. We forgot to prepare our 1.5 year old. It may seem silly! You may even think that 'What can a 1.5 year old understand?'. The move to Bangalore took a heavy toll on Isaac.
This was my happy and sweet boy a few weeks before we left. The first couple months in Bangalore was a nightmare. Not too clingy a boy, he suddenly had deep separation anxiety. He would cry every morning as Appa took off to work. This made the first half of my day miserable. I tried to keep pushing through it with the hope that dad would come home soon and rescue me.
At about two weeks past birth, Isaac smiled a big broad knowing smile. A friend, who was also a pediatrician, commented - 'You guys must have smiled a lot during the pregnancy'. 2 years and one big move later and Isaac spent a lot of time crying. Whining to be precise. There was a lot of tears all the time.
Nap times were easy till 1.5 year for Isaac. I could never remember him waking up crying. In fact our favorite memory of Isaac waking up was a quiet sound we heard whispering over the baby monitor. Several times we peeked through the door and he would be lying quietly talking to his fingers or staring at the wall as if it was a piece of Picasso. Come Bangalore and I could not leave him alone at nap time. The minute I rolled out of bed he followed me. It seemed a different person.
Now five years later, I am thankful the phase is over. But a small part of me knows that moving and change is an inevitable part of life. What will I do differently this time?
Moving with someone who cannot express how their are feeling is tough business. Moving with someone who now can express a lot but doesn't understand their own emotions is far greater a turmoil and while I pray it will not happen ... Tomorrow is another day
Once I mentioned the fact that we had moved so many times, it seemed ridiculous and my brother in law mentioned that we were after all Isaac's parents and like the biblical story of Isaac's parents, Abraham and Sarah, maybe we were destined to be nomads.
How did Abraham do it? Keep moving! How did the Israelites do it? Keep walking. No stability and nothing the same.
This being said, the community of MIMS Ardendale has been the place we have stayed in the longest. (we did move between two houses less then a few meters from each other). And I am thankful for this stability. However a few months ago, in the midst of some trials I impulsively told Suresh - Lets move! For me - move is an escape route. The EJECT button. But maybe it time for me to make my peace with here and now - for the sake of Isaac and Ziva!
