Say no to Guns! A change 'I' can make.

This is not a political statement. This is not me supporting or (not) supporting the democrats or the republicans or a particular president. Believe me - in this small little brain of mine .... I cannot fathom all of that. This is simply me being  mom ... and being vehement about something that affects my child.
I am normally not vehement about anything. I really wouldn't have much to say about who should have been the first prime minister of India. I really dont know if our country would have done better or worse. More importantly its history and arguing about it or hoping to convince people one way over the other would bring about nothing but a couple of hours of philososphical debate. I am not super-passionate about pollution ... or taking it away ... or telling other people they should not pollute ... just enough to try and do my little bit! I do not overly love animals... just enough not to hurt them. I do not know all the laws of child labor ... just enough to know what would be abuse of a child's freedom! Most of these ... I feel I may never be able to change in someone else... maybe just a little in me.

But what I am about to write about is something I can do something about ... bring a change one child at a time  starting with at least just mine!!!

This blog is not to offend anyone. It is not to provide unsolicited advice. This is just me pouring out my heart for something that causes it to bleed. This is just something that sends a shiver down my spine every time I think about it.

India recently celebrated Diwali. This is called the festival of lights (slowly turning into the festival of sound). I love all the sparklers and even love the rockets with their buzzing sounds that send the light up into the sky! They look beautiful. I do not mind even the noisy crackers! I like the startle it gives me even though I see it being lighted. But what I am terrified of is the Gun!.

Diwali is celebrated as the celebration of the return of the King Rama after his 14 year exile. Celebrated by lighting 14 lamps and bursting crackers makes house look beautiful and the sound of crackers fills the atmosphere with a feeling of festivity. I first could not understand the bursting of fire crackers or noise pollution as they call it. But I read up that this is to drive away demons and evil spirits... I think we could all use a little of that ... couldnt we? And about noise pollution ... lets not focus on these 4-5 days of  diwali but instead of all the other times we introduce noise into the environment. My contribution would be to stop yelling at my kids. I am sure Isaac and Ziva would appreciate the reduction in noise pollution this way.

But the guns! Where is the significance of that? And in Mumbai these guns last in the hands of kids a lot longer than just Diwali.  Its not even the guns ... the attitude ... the holding it up to the forehead or faces of friends! Doesnt it send a chill down your spine.

Or is it just me ... as I think about the Virginia Tech shooting back in 2007 ... or the Sandy hook shooting that happened so recently. The shooters in both cases were in their early twenties ... the victims college and school kids!

When I once mentioned this to a cousin he responded saying 'Oh that is the western culture!'
Really - What about the Gurgaon shooting in December 2007 ... the shooters 14 year olds ... shooting their classmate! And what western culture ... with shows like Doremon and Power rangers and other stuff they watch on TV, all cultures are mixed!

I can keep Isaac from the gun ... but it does seem  that I cannot really keep the gun from Isaac. A few months ago all the kids in the park seemed to have a gun in their hand. Yes yes TOY guns.  My maid told me Isaac looked at it often and asked me to buy one for him. Yes - that was advice I was going to take! I told her he should not be playing around those boys and to keep him away. A few days later as I was cycling by the park I saw Isaac looking longingly at the boys with the guns. What is it with boys! I got off the cycle ... I wanted to go over and shake Isaac to tell him all the stories of  VA tech and Sandy hook ... but all I did was tell him I did not approve of it and sent him toward the swing and slides where there were boys and girls of his age playing with sand.
I am terrified of an age ... when he may insist on having a gun because all his friends have one. I plan on telling him some gory stories and hoping he will see what I see and feel the fear I feel!

My children are the only people I can really influence and I hope that will make a difference!

An 'Artsy Craftsy' time of my life

When I was in school, we had art class. I dreaded the day we had art class. I did not like carrying my drawing book. I did not like my paint brushes and most of all I had no self esteem when it came to putting the paint on paper.
I remember always getting very low scores in art exams. I wonder why they killed the subject with exams. After all its so subjective. How do you grade it? I was very glad when I knew that after 8th standard I would no longer need to do the dreaded painting and drawing. My biggest fear was when the art teacher would walk past my table. I wanted to cover my work. I was way too conscious. I remember having to draw a pot once and she walked past me. She looked at my painting and said ...
'Don't you see how its dark on one side because of the sunlight coming from the other side?'
In my head ' No!'
Lesson: I wasn't very artsy!

                                        Guess what this is called. Isaac and amma at home making a Con....

Enter Suresh: I found a new love for art. I appreciated it more. Probably because of the passion with which he spoke about it. He seemed to think that art class should have been there all our life. 'Yikes'. But he made a good statement. If I had done art at a later stage in life I would have enjoyed it. Mainly because I would not care what anyone else thought about my paintings. I would do it to enjoy it.

                                                  Isaac and my rendition of 'Up,Up, Up'
Enter Isaac: I realized I would not be able to stay away from  the paint brushes. As I write this bit ... I am actually thinking ... I may never have really touched a brush since my drawing class... till when I got one for Isaac. No - its not because I didn't like it ... it because I was scared of what it could produce. But we (Isaac and me) finally ventured into lots of painting and drawing. I realized I wasn't so bad. I mean I could please a 2 or 3 year old. A month ago I discovered Isaac loved coloring... he enjoyed it and he could sit still for 1/2 hr with paints and brushes. He enjoyed coloring and he even used his magna-doodle to draw strange things. I realized it would be fun to get him introduced to an Art teacher.

The very hungry caterpillar - by Isaac

Enter Artsy Craftsy and the fantastic 'Kanchan Yadav': Since Isaac was not going to school this year, I wanted to try a summer camp. I wanted him to be able to take instruction from a person other than me or suresh. More importantly I wanted him to follow those instructions and be respectful of the person. I had hoped for something close by. But it did not work. I had heard about Artsy Craftsy from Mili (who lives in our community) and decided to try it.

                                          First day - painting a Tote bag - Isaac's work at Artsy Craftsy

Initially I was a little skeptical about the distance - Brigade Metropolis seemed far! more than 12 kms. But the fees were so reasonable that I decided to try it out! I am so glad I did! I have not been disappointed. Every day is fun. Every day is new. I do not know where Kanchan gets her ideas from. I am not sure how she thinks it up. But whats more important is the way she executes it! Phenomenal. She has two batches going on.

Mosaic hanging - Isaac's work at Artsy Craftsy

One a group of 8 kids between 6-12 years. Another group of 8 kids between 3-5 years. 16 very attention seeking kids.... and she manages to give her attention, opinion and correction equally. I have had to sit in summer camp for the last one week because Isaac is going through separation anxiety. There has not been a single moment of boredom. The first few days I took a book to read. But I found myself putting the book away to watch the kids at work with their hands and minds and creativity. I realized how art and craft could develop so many fine motor skills.

                                         Cover of drawing book -Leaf stamps by Isaac at Artsy Craftsy
                                       
We also had dance by Kreative Steps last week. I even found myself practicing one of the steps in front of the mirror. This week I really miss Deepa with her dance moves that make Bollywood music so much fun and not lewd!
We have been through one week of arts, crafts and dance and I enjoy it as much as the kids.
The highlight of the week is Isaac taking a bath and telling Suresh 'Appa I am going to summer camp O.K.'

                                         Chocolate spoons - non heat cooking by Isaac at Artsy Craftsy

I have so much more to say about Artsy Craftsy. But I think it deserves a separate blog. I also need permission from Kanchan to yap about all the activities!

Isaac's piece of work at non-heat cooking

So for now its time to craft my life away!

Closing those doors!

I think today being March 23 2013 (It took me one month to write this blog -- today is in fact April 26th) and the official school year starting on June 4 2013, we have officially made our decision for Isaac  for the year 2013-2014.
Isaac will technically, according to his age, be in Nursery or Pre-K. And he will be homeschooled!
Yes after visiting 6 schools and weighing our options and even with the slight chance of me loosing my mind - we have decided on homeschooling our boy. We have also prayerfully decided that we will take one year at a time (Thanks to Shanthi and Faith for making me see that this was an option) and will revisit our decision next year and see if this is in fact the best thing for Isaac, Ziva and me.
How did all this happen? Well we started our school visits at the beginning of January. We visited 6 schools

Inventure Academy: This was a fantastic place and frankly if we lived closer, we would have sent Isaac here. But sending a 4 year old this far (17 km) seemed unfair to us. Maybe he will get used to it. Maybe we are hyper-ventilating a bit too much. But the distance to the school and a long day (8-3 pm) ruled it off our list. But I think if Isaac is going to school next year, it will be a no brainer pick of Inventure

Indus Early Learning center: I loved the place. Suresh did not. What I loved was the amount of creativity we saw in our 1/2 hour tour. Children were playing with hay and sand and having so much fun! But the fees were exorbitant which would probably be fine till Ziva was to got to school as well. Sending both of them to Indus would mean I would have to go back to work. Since Suresh did not like the place anyway, it was checked off our list.

Viha: This tiny place was not much to talk about. Just felt like any other small school/ day care facility. But the principle/ owner/ teacher was one dynamic lady. I was very impressed with her confidence in what she was doing and more importantly realized she was a no-nonsense person. In addition I had a brief view of her love for teaching. As we walked past the classes, I had seen her sitting on the floor, her back close to the black board with three kids sitting around her. She was teaching them phonics and you could see the passion in just the way she was pointing at the vowels and creating three letter words. The facilities at Viha were a little poorly maintained and after seeing places that are all yuppy, you wonder! So Viha got checked off our list.

Canadian Maple bear: This place seemed an O.K. Nice play structure. Nice class rooms. But two things put us off. One Isaac had a complete meltdown and would not calm down. To make matters worse the teachers and helps were overly nice. While I like nice people, I do not like people who encourage tantrums of 3 year old's by being overly nice! Another thing I noticed on our tour was a teacher grasping (probably gently) the wrists of a 4 year old. The child was not paying attention. I had a mental picture in my head of that child being Isaac a year later. I could not get my picture out of my head. I am allowed to hold my son's wrist and shake him to get his attention  ... but I do not give that right to anyone else. Canadian became a choice we would take if we had /must send Isaac to school and was slowly pushed to the bottom of our list.

Klay Schools:  We received an excellent review about this place and were all excited about a school we were almost sure we were going to send Isaac. But I realized that you like a place and approve it based on the person who takes you around. Unfortunately for us, the center co-ordinator was in-charge of showing us the facilities. She first told us to come at 1 pm and then called at 12:30 and changed the time to 2 pm. By this point I was already half way through and decided to pick Suresh up and then wait outside the school till 1:45. At 1:45 we slowly parked the car and picked a sleeping Isaac and walked into lobby. It was another 45 minutes before our conversations with the center coordinator began. I was pissed by this point since I was to be home by 3 pm to relieve the maid and take over Ziva. To add some further fume to the fury, the center coordinator was completely unprofessional. With a checked shirt rolled up past her elbows and leaning back and rocking her chair, she gave me the impression that she was sitting at a coffee shop across her college buddies. While I loved the facilities and what they were doing, I was completely put off by our point of contact. Another thing that made us uneasy was the lack of secular environment. While looking through the calendar I noticed that in January they had decided to celebrate Sankranti instead of Republic day. I mentioned that it was odd since I would think school would give more priority to patriotism than religion. I am of the firm belief that faith and religion should be things taught at home so it matches the environment you grow up in. The coordinator casually said that they choose one holiday in a month and celebrated it large scale (I understand choosing 'one', since India has so many holidays and festivals). She continued to says 'Well in March we will be celebrating Maha shivrathri. I asked how they celebrated it.
Her response: Well the kids do a pooja.
I was a little shocked - what do kids know about a pooja. I again had a mental image of Isaac chanting something he did not understand. She probably recognized the confusion in my face and quickly added 'In April, we are celebrating Easter'. Big mistake! I do not want Isaac thinking Easter is about Easter Eggs or bunny rabbits!

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At this point Suresh and I had this long conversation and the key phrase that I will keep in my head is Suresh's line 'What must I do to so you will homeschool Isaac?'
I think Suresh had realized that a major reason for me even thinking about school was the lack of appreciation within the home and the fear of ridicule from outside.
At the end of two or three days of conversation, we had almost decided on homeschooling Isaac for one more year. But we had one last school left to go see. I did not have much hope since most schools close admissions by January of the academic year. We were in the mid of March. But we had put in our admission forms and decided to go for the tour.
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Neev: Neev was  wonderful, small little place but used up so well. Lots of light and lots of arts and crafts. We felt comfortable with the place. One important happening at Neev were the other kids. Isaac was on the play structure and we were in the midst of our tour when the kids were let free for play time. One of the girls came up behind him on the play structure, probably about 2 years older than Isaac and asked him his name. As usual Isaac shied away. Then a couple more kids came and decided to be friendly and I responded for him 'His name is Isaac' All of them started squealing with joy. 'Like Isaac Newton'! For the first time Suresh and I both liked the place. Suresh made sure there were no religious celebrations that required participation (observation is fine is what he said) and he was assured that harvest festivals were the only things that were celebrated. Cultural knowledge is fine.

We seemed to have found a place and yet there was no peace! I seemed to have this feeling in my heart that something was being pulled out of me and taken away. Suresh just kept saying 'I have no peace'


That evening at family prayer Suresh prayed this way 'Lord close the doors that need to be closed!'

Had Isaac been rejected or denied admission from Neev, I would have been very upset. Instead the following day afternoon we received an email from Neev. 'Isaac has been wait-listed' Which meant he could probably get a chance to go to Neev mid-way through the year.
Doors closed!

I have never seen Suresh so elated. We were both afraid of the decision we would have to take if Isaac had been accepted. I think as parents we are always second guessing ourselves on what is good for our child. I thank God for closing those doors! (for this year at least)
Now to start praying for peace, patience, perseverance and joy in teaching Isaac and Ziva.



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A few days ago (April 4th 2013) we got a mail from Neev saying they had a seat available. Suresh and I politely declined. I ended my phone conversation with the sweet lady across the line saying 'Maybe next year'
I don't want to try and open something God has closed. I don't want to challenge the peace I felt when those are closed and the peace I feel right now.