Big people dont have homework!

I sat between them as we tried to get math and phonics done. Now usually I keep my phone next to me. But on this day I pulled my Bible and a note book and decided to start writing. Just like they were writing!
Ziva watched me for a few seconds

Isaac looked up occasionally from his math book. Finally
Isaac: Amma why are you writing from that book
Me: Because I have homework
Ziva: Big people dont have homework
I laughed out loud!
Me: Oh Yes! They do!

We have recently been doing an accountable bible study with our church. One study was a book of Acts in so much detail, it was nauseating.
The second study was writing the words of Jesus from the bible. I was writing about the wise and foolish builders ... I got a chance to tell Isaac and Ziva the story. I ended by telling them
ME: Isaac and ziva will not fall if you stand on 'the rock' ... Jesus
Ziva waits for a few seconds and then starts to cry...
Ziva: 'But I am scared I will fall!'

 I wish I could say ... But I will catch you. But truly I know that there  is only one person who can catch her when she falls. Hope she finds HIM :)

Surviving post-partum depression - My story!

A few years ago, I was attending a stitching class with two other ladies. As the conversation drifted we suddenly found ourselves talking about depression. Specifically the kind you feel after you have had a baby. Post-partum depression in complicated words!
 As we ran a poll, I realized that among the four ladies in the room, three of us had felt some magnitude of depression after the arrival of our little ones. That is 75 % of women. (My statistics!). Of the three of us, two had sought some form of help in regards to this depression. That's 66%. I was the moron who had thought that I was too strong and could overcome this 'Phase' in life. I think its God's grace that I survived and made it this far!

The first question that most will have is  'How did you know you were having post-partum depression?' Well I was depressed , had lost interest in most everything and have occasionally considered hurting myself.  I felt listless most of the time and lacked any drive to get things done. I am not writing this because I want sympathy. I am writing this because I am sure there are tons of new moms who are not sure why they are feeling what they are feeling. More importantly I want to share how I got through some of my struggles

As I analyze my state in that time, I realized that the following definitely contributed toward my depressed state of mind. 
1. We had just moved with a new born baby and a toddler. The move was huge and I was not as prepared as I had thought I was.  DH was starting a new job and needed to spend a lot of time at work. This left me alone, with two human-beings who could not carry out a sane conversation with me, giving my mind a chance to play all kinds of games.
2. I did not have enough help. Two kids with an age difference of 22 months, I needed all the help I could get and yet I could not find it. When I did get it (i.e. found the best nanny in the world) it took me 9 months to trust her alone with my kids. After all these was my babies and they were my responsibility.
3. I did not get enough rest. I went back to work 3 months after baby #1 and we moved to India from the US - 2 months after baby #2. I had pneumonia - 1 week after I joined work post baby #1 and baby #1 had RSV and was hospitalized for 3 days a day after I started my pneumonia antibiotics. I see moms in India take long rests post delivery and 7 month maternity leaves and I think 'Why the heck did I not do that?'
4. I made my life child-centric. I refused to do anything that I could not take my children along with. As a result my life became about me and the babies and the world outside stopped. It was like a disaster waiting to happen.
5. I started gaining weight. While with baby #1 I had managed to stay fit post delivery, eating oats and drinking lots of milk. With baby # 2, I was in India, the land of Gulab jamun and fried 'Wadas'. I started to gain weight at the sight of these foods. Putting on weight... while you have nothing else going on in life, can really take that rock bottom self-esteem and drop it in deep oceans.
6. I did not seem to have time for anything other than the kiddos. When one was sleeping, the other was awake and the cycle continued. This gave me no time for myself. No time to read/watch TV or just be!

I wish I had sought help. But it was when I hit rock bottom that I even realized I was depressed. Till that point I thought it was hormonal and it would go away. One frustrated afternoon I broke down in front of DH crying and pouring out my heart on the way I felt. I think I left him very flustered. The biggest help you need while going through post-partum is your DH to actually know that you are depressed. He was shocked to even think I was depressed. Once I had DH on my side, things started taking an uphill turn!
1. I started to wake up early in the morning and DH would watch the kids if either of them woke up before 7 am. I would read! I started to cycle and I just enjoyed the clearing of my head the morning gave me. The cycling help me loose some of my baby fat and it almost gave me a goal to achieve!
2. I started to look for things to do outside the home. My only condition was that I would not leave the kids at home alone with the maid. DH had to be at home. Bangalore has plenty to do on weekends and so I found opportunities like baking, stitching and painting.
3. I started blogging. I was able to pour out my frustration and achievements over a white screen and it surely helped my head!

Now two years later, I am on constant watch for mood swings. I look for ways and means to lift myself up and I take a break when I need it. This does not involve running away from home, but it does involve being by myself.

When I see moms with newborns the advise I give is please take as much help as you can get. Help from in-laws, help from your parents, a nanny, a cook , whatever you can afford for at least a year.
And most important tell DH when you start to feel crazy in your head!

Quoting Aunty Acid!!!!

Sugar's story - My first attempt at writing my own story

As part of my Kathalaya training course last month, we were asked to write and enact our own stories. Here is what I wrote and boy was I a drama queen when I enacted it!

My props were : Dupattas of various colors (White for sugar, brown and black for chocolate and various other colors for lollipop), Sugar , Chocolate (milk and bitter) and  lollipops :)

 

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How the Lollipop got its shape!

Once upon a time a long long ago there lived a lovely lady called Sugar. She was always dressed in white and her skin dazzled in the sun. She looked like the snow. She was a very kind and sweet lady. Wherever she went she would spread joy and happiness. People loved talking to her,. Children loved playing with her. But Sugar had one problem.

Chocolate!

Chocolate was Sugar's twin sister. Chocolate and sugar were alike in a lot of ways. Chocolate also was a very nice lady and she was also kind and people also loved her. But every time Sugar was around Chocolate became bitter. She was acutally a beautiful brown color but every time she saw Sugar she would turn black in color. She was also never kind to Sugar.

One day Sugar and Chocolate were invited to a party. Now Chocolate was standing talking to a few people and playing with a few children when Sugar arrived. And a few children ran to Sugar to play with her. Chocolate was so mad. Even though there were people talking to her she felt like everyone was running and talking to Sugar. So she decided she would go say a few things to Sugar. 

 

'Well well Sister , if it isnt you again. Same boring you.'

Sugar just smiled. ' Look at me I am dark brown today, I was light brown yesterday. Tomororw I may be another color. But you . White white white! So boring. People taste you and you are gone. You are so small. If there is very little left of you they just dust you off their hands. But me ... people love me! Even if there is very little left of me on their hands they will lick me off. They cannot just dust me off! I can take so many different shapes. Hearts and triangles and balloons...just by squishing me in their hands. But you if we try to melt you either you will become liquid ... or you will become hard!

Sugar started to cry and ran away. She was very sad. Sugar had a favorite place... It was a place she could only look at and never go to. That was the fire place. But today she was so sad that she ran and sat next to her favorite place. And she was so sad that she did not realized that she was melting and slowly slipping away around tha place. She even turned a little brown and sticky! When she stopped crying she was all over the place... small puddles of Sugar everywhere.

Now this is where I come in. Who am I ... yes yes .. I am the storyteller.... but I am also the confectioner. 

I work with both Sugar and Chocolate. I love both Sugar and Chocolate. I think they are both unique and beautiful. I decided that Sugar need a little bucking up. Strengthening .. toughening up. I had seen all that Chocolate had done. So I walked up to Sugar. Picking up all her pieces.

'See Sugar. You may be sticky but when you are sticking its so easy to work with you. And because you are so small .. it is also quick to work with you. You melt like that (snap finger) and are so ready then to be shaped into anything.'

'Anything! 'Sugar said....

Yes lets see ... we can make you into a sqaure or a rectangle ... but I think the best shape for you would be a round circle ... because then it would mean you have a center.... one point that is just the sweetest.

And so what if you are white. I can put so many colors on you. Pink and blues and greens and reds... and If you are int a fun mood... alll colors together... And the best of all... when people taste you they will go ... pop... pop... And if I put you on this stick ... no one will dust you off their hands.! Sugar said ' Why a stick?'. Because then people will keep licking and licking till they finish you and then they will keep licking the stick and chewing it .. thinking about you.

And from that day onwards ... Sugar loved being popped .. .. lollipoped!

And Chocolate ... I made her such that every time she was without Sugar ... she would turn bitter!

Lesson 1: Don't be afraid of colors - Artsy Craftsy - Week 1

Well I got Kanchan's permission to talk about Summer camp. So the next few blogs will be about Artsy Craftsy!

So Monday May 6th dawned up. First day  of summer camp. I was prepping Isaac to go to summer camp and he  was having a lot of mood fluctuations ... yes I want to go to summer camp ... no amma I don't! Finally Suresh said 'Isaac there will be lots of painting'. Isaac smiled.
Suresh looks at me  'There better be a lot of painting!'
As I drove to Brigade Metropolis, I kept thinking - man this is far! We walked up the steps and rang the bell! The door opened to a smiling face 'You must be Isaac!'  It was great welcome.
16 kids sat in two semi-circles in a large hall devoid of furniture. I did wonder where all the furniture was and later found out that Kanchan pushed everything into the rooms inside - smart move with all the paint around!
We found a place near a sweet little girl 'M'. She soon became a favorite for Isaac to sit beside. Kanchan then asked Isaac 'Whats your favorite fruit?' Luckily there was strawberry tote bag left.

Yes tote bags - that was the first painting project at Artsy Craftsy's Summer Camp. While the kids began pulling out brushes on their cloth tote bags, Kanchan quickly called out 'Does any one know what tote means?'

senior tote bags

Art class and a little  general knowledge.A few seconds into painting and Isaac had paint on his fingers 'Amma --- paint'. Kanchan quickly came over and showed Isaac her hands full of color.
'Look Isaac - paint - don't worry we can wash it off. Kids - Don't be afraid of colors' : Lesson 1!

color on my hands 

We finished painting in about an hour. And I kept wondering - OK two more hours... I wonder what they are going to do next.
Snacks boxes were opened and friends were made. I realized that this was an excellent buffer for kids who were a little slower or those who needed more help. 

Junior kid pot holder

Next it was time for some dance. Deepa - the dance teacher - sorted them into their sizes and spread them out. I realized that I never really danced with Isaac. He kept looking at everyone and not dancing. About an hour into dancing everyone was exhausted and it was then time for Story telling. Kanchan has been reading to the kids form Sudha murty's books and I noted to myself on how it would make great reading even for me.  They are kind of like Aesop's fables. Perfect for a three year old.

It did seem like Isaac was bored since he was used to story time with books that had lots of pictures. This story time involved a lot of 'listening'. I was very happy to later realize that even though he never really paid attention to the whole stories, he heard bits and pieces. He was talking about a fisherman the next day on the drive to Artsy Craftsy. Small pleasures!! And just like that it was time to go home.

Make and play Shaker

In one week we made a wall hanging of a mosaic bird, a pot holder (which Isaac needed a lot of help in) , leaf print on the cover of a drawing book and a shaker with paper cups. All this was interspersed with plenty of dancing, outdoor games  and lots of stories from Sudha Murty's book 'The bird with the golden wings'.

Drawing book cover using leaf stamping - Junior kids

At the end of week one, Isaac was doing a fairly decent job of some coordinated steps at dancing. He was looking at the dance teacher on what to do next. He was not afraid of paint or glue or any other arty/crafty things.

 Senior Kid pot holders

He was making a lot of friends. More importantly his friends were not all aged at 3.5. There was the 11 year old M who dotted on him, the 11.5 year old A, who thought he was cute. There was the 7 year old S who got annoyed with his games. There was the 7 year old K who kept asking him about his dogs! His favourites are two little chaps R and H. The three of them act all crazy and drive Kanchan and the rest of the kids nuts with weird sounds, screaming and occasional rush of tears!

Junior kids tote bag

Many have asked me - Gosh you go all the way too Brigade Metropolis- Its 10 Km. You sit there for 3 hours.  etc etc..
It did make me feel like I wasted a lot of time or I was mollycoddling Isaac. But I learnt a few lessons and Week 2 brought in a surprise I never expected.
Lessons:
1. Stop worry about colors spilling over the floor. I dont think I was mollycoddling Isaac by being at Summer camp all time. But I was definitely teaching him to be paranoid when I kept yelling at home not to spill colors. A couple of times when I told Isaac - dont spill, Kanchan always reassured me 'Don't worry we can always wipe it' . She just about didnt show me her hands to indicate 'Dont be afraid of colors'.
2. Interaction helps a lot: Isaac became comfortable with kids of all ages in one week. He became less whiny during week 2.


Don't be afraid of colors!

For more Artsy Craftsy ideas visit the facebook page and 'like'. Most of them are very simple and can be done at home too.