Like Appa! Zivas world

So its lunch time and we are trying to be quiet these days just so we can finish lunch in 1/2 hr. But these days Isaac is the conversation starter - Surprise!
'Amma where did you get that picture ' He asks nodding toward a painting of Versailles.
 We bought it ' I replied a little disinterested.
'You went to Europe' He continues with a smirk on his face.
'Yes ... I went to France and went up the Eiffel Tower' I retort like a seven year old.
'Is the castle a museum?'  He persists.
'Yes Isaac. It the castle of Versailles! There are very few kings or knights in castles any more'
Little background - Isaac has been learning about knights and castles and the crusade.

Now Ziva joins in. ' Will you take us there next time Amma'
'No. You study hard, make money and go one your own!' I reply
' No. I want you to take me!' Ziva whimpers.
'I went on my own. Appacha did not pay for me.' I said with way too much pride.
'But I dont want to go ALONE!' She whines some more. AHA!
'You can get married and go with your husband!' I grinned suddenly pleased with the conversation.
Ziva smiles.
'Marry someone who likes traveling OK?!' I advise
'And someone who likes to dance!' Ziva adds with enthusiasm.
Now I am curious. It seemed like she had someone in mind already.
'Like who Ziva' I ask curiously. Names of all the boys Ziva knows is flashing through my head and I am crossing them off very quickly because not one of them is worth my daughter - Yes I know - Typical mom!

'Like Appa' Ziva answers enthusiastically. ' He likes to dance'

My heart is all melted and lying in sloppy tears all over the floor.

Suresh Joel ... some boy is going to have a tough job fitting into your shoes :)

The feminist - A few days without my man!

It happens every year at the same time. I guess the conference happens in June every year for which my DH has to leave us and travel for two weeks. And guess what else happens in June! Father's day! For the third year now, we have missed having Dad here for Father's Day. This means since Ziva was born, she has not celebrated fathers days with her father :(

As I grew up, I was trained constantly to be independent. I grew up believing I could do anything a boy could do. This I guess was the training for being a feminist. I believed in equality. I believed boys SHOULD do things which girls did, such as wash dishes and pick up after themselves and girls COULD do things that boys did such, as drive cars and get about alone. Luckily I met a man who treated me as an equal. We shared all chores from day one of our marriage. We did our own laundry and folded our own clothes. In fact DH did a much better job  of folding and ironing his clothes than me. We alternated days for cooking i.e. he cooked one day and me the next. We shared washing vessels and also cleaning up the house. We shared the bills, splitting it equally. In fact for the first 5 years of our marriage we even had separate bank accounts. It was only when we moved to a new city that we started an account together.

In the time before the kids, DH travelled a lot. He travelled mainly on work related conferences. I also realized that he loved travelling. I did not like travelling and I did not mind being alone at home. It gave me time to catch up with my books and watch 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' endless number of times. I was independent and fearless. I could look after myself. FEMINIST?

But now here we are some 6 years later and 13 years of being married and you would think that the independence would have grown. But not in our case! After this long walk of 13 years together, DH travels less and I get heavily nervous each time he has to leave us even for a couple days. The key word in the sentence is 'US'

I still pay the bills, do the dishes, drive myself wherever needed, get work done around the house. But life during this time is not the same.
For me now my life revolves around my man! And the big reason for the change in my independence to dependence is 'Isaac and Ziva'.

For the umpteenth time since DAD has left for his work-travel Ziva has asked. 'Is Appa coming back now?' . I tried showing them the calendar and counting the days till Appa returned. But a few hours later 5 year old Isaac came, his eyes filled to the brim with big tears, 'I want Appa not to go to the US again!' Why? He could not get his legos to work and only DAD knows to help him!!! Yes some independence. I do not know how to put together a simple Legos set (Well its not simple - its this complicated fire truck set). What use was the electricity and phone bill paid when I could not keep the tears from rolling down my little boy's eyes?

This past Saturday we attended Children's Church. Usually Ziva loves dancing and singing songs with her friends. But this Saturday she was ultra whiny and annoying. While I was trying to calm her down, my friend's 15 year old daughter came to me and said ' Suresh Uncle's left? That's why Ziva's crying. She misses her daddy. I cry when my Daddy goes too' and she giggled making Ziva nod her head in agreement! Wisdom from a 15-year old!! What use was driving to places when I could not comfort my little one the way my DH does!

A few days without my man is a roller coaster ride. All emotions are flying high and tears are at the brim of the eyes.
Some FEMINIST huh!

Two bags and a BABY - travelling with the kids

I do not like travel. I am terrified of it you could say! Even before I had kids I did not enjoy the flight motion or the fact that I needed to stay away from 'my' comfortable bed. Leaving the home meant leaving a routine and I am a big routine person. Once the kids arrived I started stressing even more.
Our first big travel after Z arrived was a long journey to India. I still remember holding a two month old in a Baby Bjorn and trying to push the stroller which help my 22 month old Isaac. It has gotten better since then and I have learned a lot of lessons on how to prepare the kids for travel day. Here is my 'vishesh tippany' (Special Advise). I hope other mommies find it useful
Prep them up: They are never too small to understand anything. From as little as 3 months you can talk or read to your little one. There are so many books on trains, planes and boats. Show these to your child. Make an origami paper plane. Make airplane and train sounds to get them excited. When they are older you can probably speak with them on how much time it takes to get there or what to do when your ear starts hurting. I remember Z and I on a trip to Bombay opening and closing their mouth like little fishes.
Travel light: As light as you can possibly do. DH very often says 'Take you passport and your wallet - you can buy everything else'. Well when we were sans kids this seemed to be fair advice. But with kids   the are definitely a few essentials. Most flight food is bland and so you may be able to survive with it. But if you have a baby you definitely to carry the mashed up stuff. And then there are few essentials like the extra pair of clothes or two and the diapers and the wipes. While most of these may be available at the airport it is good to pack these in a diaper bag.
Snack ideas: Don't go for the oily stuff. Carry fruits that the kids can snack on or raisins or dry cereal that they like eating. On one flight from Bangalore to Mumbai , I and Z got excited about the food being given in the plane and started eating all kinds of stuff : rice, bread with butter, juice etc. It was a bumpy landing and at the terminal we were holding a  newspaper full of throw-up. Z had brought up everything she had eaten. That's another thing, accidents happen!  I learned my lesson and now I ask for a barf bag as soon as I get on a flight. Carry plastic bags for train or car trips in case the kids get sick.
Carry on luggage: While traveling with kids make sure you have kid friendly carry-on luggage. You need both your hands and more to help them out. So the ideal carry on luggage is haversack on your shoulders.
Travel timing: Whenever we drive, we try to plan it around sleep time. DH and I are morning people so we make sure we leave at 4 in the morning. This give us a good 3 hours of time before the kids wake up. It is peaceful driving! I choose flight timings too based on whether there is a chance they will take a nap on the flight.

Bassinet/Seat: Most international flight have the option of a bassinet. This was so useful when traveling with a 2 month old Z who slept most of the time. I did not need to hold her. I could just put her in the bassinet. Some international flights let you take car seats and my kids are great at sleeping in the car seat. But this is only useful if you need the car seat on the other end of the trip i.e. like traveling to the US.
Security Check: This is the most annoying part of flight travel even when you travel alone. You have to remove laptop and other things before going through the security. If you have two kids running around crazy it becomes so much harder. The key again here is to travel light. Take only essentials. Declare out stuff like water for the kids or food that you need to carry for them. Most Security Checks go smoother when you have told them everything you have in your bag. I usually go there and remove everything on the small trays they provide.
Entertainment: Whether it is the railway station or the airport there is plenty to entertain the kids. Keep them occupied. At railway stations we usually walk up and down looking at engines and other fun stuff. Some airports have children's play area. On our travel to Singapore we discovered this play area and it entertained the kids for 45 minutes as we waited to board our flight. On flight we usually have some videos stocked on a fully charged laptop and this definitely helps keep them calm. One thing Isaac loves doing is walking around the flight. If its a relatively big flight, this may not be such a bad idea. A few trips around the cabin and maybe the little one will tire themselves to fall asleep. Car trips are usually passed by lots of books to ready, good music and maybe in desperate situations a tablet with some kiddie games on it.

The best way though to get I and Z excited about travel is to talk to them about who they are going to meet at the other end of the travel or what all they may see at the end of the travel. It makes the travel and adventure full of excitement.

Blood on the road! Quotes from Isaacland

Isaac loves maps. Isaac loves mazes. He loves tracing his hand up and down and round to get from one point to the other. He loves maps like the ones you find in Winnie the pooh that shows the details of the 'Hundred Acre woods'
And then recently Isaac got his little eyes into Google maps... Aaah what excitement.
So one evening we are traveling in the car and keep getting stuck traffic. After a 1/2 hr of frustration I pulled out my phone to check how 'bad' the traffic was as our journey continued. The map came up and as usual the whole of Bangalore looked like a jam at 7 pm. Isaac peers over my shoulders and his jaw drops
Isaac: Amma there is blood on the road!

Google maps you may need to change your color code to save the innocence of my 5 year old!