'How old are your children?' I ask her
'I have two boys. The older one is eleven and the other is six' she replies. She continues as she sees a stunned expression on my face which I cannot hide.
She: ' I was married at sixteen you see'.
I am again at a loss of words and so she realizes it may be a good time to put her chores aside for a bit and just talk. So she squats and puts down her broom
She: ' You see my father was very old and I am the youngest in the family. My mother was afraid that if he passed away the burden of my wedding would fall on her. So she got me married of as soon as I finished my SSLC (10th standard)'.
I smile at her and then look down at my daughter peacefully sleeping in my arms. I wonder deep down -- what age will my little girl get married. I look up to see her still squatting in the middle of the room, the broom still by her side
She: 'Daughters are a blessing arent they? I wish I had a daughter'.
I laugh 'Well you are young you can always have another child'.
'Oh no' she quickly replies 'I would just like to raise these two boys well! You see my husband is much older than me' .
'Really' I say ' How old?'.
She: 'Well they married me to my uncle'.
Me: '!!!! Really'. Seeing the shock in my face she replies 'Oh among us it is quite common'. I smile. I had heard of that custom among some of the Indian cultures. Then she says 'Hmmm! My life was wasted'
Me :'Why? Is your husband mean to you?'
She with a giggle: 'Oh no! Not at all.'
Me:' Does he hit you?'
She: ' Oh no! He takes very good care of me'
Me: ' Then why do you say that?'
She: 'When I would have really like to study some more but they got me married off'
We are interrupted by the arrival of 2 year old Isaac and his father. She picks up her broom and continues her chores.
------------------------------
A few months later, she is complaining to me about the ironing lady not returning our clothes. Even though I tell her I am not concerned she continues ' Mam you must tell her to bring back the clothes and take the next lot'. I nod my head thinking: yes of course I must---- right after I clean this dirty diaper.
Me:' It OK! We don't need the clothes right away. Besides she works at other homes she is is probably busy.'
She (sounding annoyed):'Her husband is supposed to iron the clothes'
Me: 'Then we need to speak with him now dont we'
She: ' He is drunk all the time... '
Me: ' Oh! So who irons the clothes' I almost wanted to bite my tongue after saying that since my concern was really not the clothes even though it sounded that way.
She: ' Sometimes she has to do it on her own after she does work at houses'
Me: 'See now, how could you say your life was wasted the other day! Your husband takes good care of you! Imagine the plight of this poor lady. She has to do her work and her drunk husbands too!'
She smiles :'Very true mam'
------------------------------------
A few months later she calls up holding back her tears
She:' Mam I wont be coming to work today. Hope it is ok'
Me:' Sure! Are you ok?'
She:' Yes Mam! But my husband is in the hospital'
Me: ' Oh! What happened to him?'
She: ' He is diabetic and has some issues with his health'
Me: 'Ok let me know if you need any help.'
She: 'Yes Mam' and she quickly hangs up
-----------------------
She comes back to work two days later
Me: 'Is he feeling better'
She: 'Yes Mam but he needs to rest for a month or so. He wont be returning to work for a while'
Me: 'Oh ok!'
She: 'My mother was so scared of having to get me married off without my father that she got me married off to someone so much older. He has all these health issues. Now I am suffering! My life is wasted. I just want my boys to grow up quickly so they can take care of themselves.'
I really have no words of encouragement for her. I have no smart advice or comparisons to drunken husbands to give her. I just watch her wipe her eyes as she carries on with her chores
No comments:
Post a Comment