Hooked - #RealTogetherness

There was time when I was hooked to Television. I could watch 6-7 hours of TV. I could watch and re-watch episodes. I had evenings and nights of ‘back-to-back’ watching all those detective series. And then I cut it off at the source. Yes I cut off cable. Its has been six years now since we cut cable at our house. Since we moved from the US to india, there was a mild urge to get cable back on the pertext of the kids watching Discovery and Animal Planet. But considering that I am so ‘hooked’ we have progressively been able to push of cable by buying DVD’s with the wonderful soothing voice of Sir David Attenbourgh talking about the ‘Life of Birds’.

You could say I found freedom from the addiction. And while that lasted a good deal of time, here I am again with yet another ‘issue’. Social media and its kind has taken over my life. I am hooked once again. Don’t get me wrong. I love Facebook and Whatsapp. I like that I can send my DH a picture of my little girl crying in an instant or post this blog for a hundred friends to read via my Facebook page. But truth be told – I am hooked.

As the convenience of keeping in touch becomes easier, as the world becomes smaller, as we network faster, the addiction is growing stronger.

A few days ago a nephew of mine told me for a 100^th time that I was hooked to ‘whatsapp’. In his words, ‘Whatsapp was becoming my idol’. So I decided time to cut the tree and pull of the addiction from the roots.

Well, I wish it was that easy. Considering pretty much all communication for me is via Whatsapp and Facebook. I rarely pick up the phone anymore to call anyone. But there has got to be plan of action. At least let social media know – They do not rule my life.

The Kissanpur ad (see link below) is phenomenally cute and got me a little teary eyed. But I decided there were a few things I was already doing and  I just needed to add a few more things to my list and I would be on my way to freedom again.

A few months back I quit my vegetable garden due to a monkey menace. I recently started planting seeds again. I even plucked a few lady fingers this past week. But better still every morning last week from 6-7 am, DH and I went up to the terrace and started cleaning up the area to make space for my kitchen garden. We cleared up the pots, planted a few seeds and sad down with our cup of tea afterward to enjoy our menial work. We never took our phones up with us. This was step one to freedom.

This week I decided I would turn off my phone internet at least for a couple our hours during the day time and all night! I really do not understand why I have my phone data plan or Wi-Fi ON while I am sleeping. Unfortunately current communication methods, I cannot cut off WhatsApp completely – but I am on my way to freedom.

I have two more plans and if they are successful, I will blog about it. But for right now enjoy this simply cute Kissanpur Ad!

Kissanput "Real Joy of Togetherness" Video 

This blog was written for ##RealTogetherness

http://www.kissanpur.com/.

And then life changed forever! First time parents!

Every so often I do this thing where I check time in another country. Usually it is either US, if hubby is travelling or UTC because I forget to turn on my work timer.

Today I am thinking of a time long ago. 6 years to be exact. And so I typed into google ‘Time in US’

7:39 pm: Washington DC.

That sounds about right and since I was about 50 minutes from Washington DC I think I was in the mall right now. Columbia mall to be exact. I was eating my last meal as a married woman. Tomorrow I would be a mom! Yes October 15 2009 about 7 pm, DH dragged me to the mall for a walk and a meal. All I wanted to do was sit on the sofa.

I had hoped ‘Isaac’ would be born on October 15 since it was my father’s birthday. I really wanted him to be birthday partners with my dad whom I had lost about 18 months before. But Isaac decide he needed just a few hours more to come out, drawing the date to October 16 2009.

I still remember I ate ‘gyros’. Probably the worst ‘gyros’ every. DH ate his favorite ‘five guy burgers’ and I think he did share a few fries with me.

I waddled all over the mall. Yes literally waddled like a duck. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Little did I know that the night was going to get too exciting to sleep. Just as I hit the bed, I had to ‘pee’ yet again for the umpteenth time. I sat up and then it happened.

‘Suresh … my water broke!’

DH who had probably drifted off just a little into dreamland jumped off this bed. You could see the excitement on his face. I think he probably expected the baby to be there. Time on the clock was probably midnight. We had to wait another 15 hours to see our little boy. He took his own sweet time to arrive and could not be rushed any sooner.

The rule in the US was if you are not in pain you do not come to the Hospital. So when I called my midwife, she told me to eat something and try to sleep some. SLEEP some!!!! I was going to be a mom. There was no way I was going to sleep. We waited for a few hours and then unable to hold in our excitement drove to the hospital and got settled in.

And then the wait began. They say ‘No pain .. No gain’. Well whoever wrote that has obviously never been induced for labor pain. The actual labor pain started at about noon. By 1 pm I was begging for the epidural. At 2 pm I was fast asleep enjoying some pain free rest!

Finally at about 5 pm, Isaac decided to it was time to make his grand entry into the world. And just like that he opened my womb!

The beginning of a long roller coaster journey called motherhood.7 years of waiting, 15 hours of labor and then all else is bliss!

The introvert and the extrovert – Childhood opened up!

My son is most likely what they call a Melancholic. While I do not want to necessarily categorize him in a box… he is what he is!

My daughter is more likely a sanguine. While I do not want to necessarily categorize her in a box… she is what she is!

Watching and learning their temperaments has helped me immensely understand my children. While in my urge to be a good mother, I push and pull them in all directions of socialization and learning, I have now realized that at some point I am actually putting my personality on my children. Understanding their personality has also helped me step back when I know I have crossed way beyond their comfort zone.

Melancholic’s are quiet and analytical. That describes Isaac in and out. He is a family man. He loves his house and his family and is content being right here at home. There were times that I would get really worried about him. 

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The Sanguine and the Melancholic - Ziva's world

There is this pretty cool thing that I discovered recently. TEMPERAMENTS. We each have a different temperament
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_temperaments
Lots of things are involved in how our temperaments are formed. As part of a marriage seminar, Suresh and I took the temperament test.
I am a Choleric
Suresh is a Phelgmatic.
Suddenly my husband made so much sense to me! I have always loved him! But now he made sense!
As a consequence of the temperament analysis I now walk around looking at people through the eye glass of temperaments! I am not judging - its just that they make more sense!

Guess who comes under the scrutiny of this eye glass! Of course Isaac and Ziva.
Yesterday I was talking to Isaac and Ziva about the paralyzed man and his four friends from the book of Matthew 9:2-6. The story is about four friends bringing their paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed. Ahhh - Good friends! The ones who stick around even when you are paralyzed.

I finished the story and asked Isaac
Me: Who is your best friend Isaac?
Isaac (Without a blink): Jeremey
Me: Who is your best friend Ziva?
Ziva: Suzanna and Natania and Akshaya and Aaron and Audrey!
Me: OK Ziva! But tell me one name who is your best friend!
Ziva (Pause ... whines) : But Amma ... I want all the girls and all the boys to be my best friend!

Typical Sanguine!  They love you the most and forget you the fastest ;)

Big people dont have homework!

I sat between them as we tried to get math and phonics done. Now usually I keep my phone next to me. But on this day I pulled my Bible and a note book and decided to start writing. Just like they were writing!
Ziva watched me for a few seconds

Isaac looked up occasionally from his math book. Finally
Isaac: Amma why are you writing from that book
Me: Because I have homework
Ziva: Big people dont have homework
I laughed out loud!
Me: Oh Yes! They do!

We have recently been doing an accountable bible study with our church. One study was a book of Acts in so much detail, it was nauseating.
The second study was writing the words of Jesus from the bible. I was writing about the wise and foolish builders ... I got a chance to tell Isaac and Ziva the story. I ended by telling them
ME: Isaac and ziva will not fall if you stand on 'the rock' ... Jesus
Ziva waits for a few seconds and then starts to cry...
Ziva: 'But I am scared I will fall!'

 I wish I could say ... But I will catch you. But truly I know that there  is only one person who can catch her when she falls. Hope she finds HIM :)

No Phonics for me - Thank you! Just some reading and side serve of encouragement

As a homeschooling mom, I was terrified when at age 5 Isaac did not seem to still be wanting to read. I knew he could read a lot of words. But he refused to look at sentences in books. He got irritated and refused to even sit with me when I tried to put some basic English language rules to him. I was even more flustered when I heard that 5 year olds were cursive writing in Schools. But writing was not my worry really. Isaac could write half decent. He was slow. But that was an incentive issue. If I could find an incentive he would write fast.
But I just wanted him to start reading. And then one day he just did.
It was right after I had gone completely frustrated and given up all hope. It was after I had cried my heart out wondering what I was doing wrong. It was at a point where I told DH ' I am going to leave him alone and let him figure it out. ' The only thing I decided to continue is to read as many books to him as I could lay my hands on.


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Entertaining my sick babies - Things to keep them busy but rested

It's that season of the year. There are colds and coughs and fevers. Its all around and as you pray and hope that it does not enter you house, it does! Being sick is one thing, having a sick baby at home is another. And then the cooties spread from one munchkin to the other one and it seems like the only thing you are doing is scampering for the tissue box and making hot soups.
We had one such season a few months ago and the hardest part of this time is to keep the kids rested and yet entertained. Its one of those seasons when you need to start thinking outside the box for ways and means to keep the children occupied. A a mother I am learning to experiment on the roles of various indoor activities that can be put into good use. While a day could go along with regular games and toys, when the cold and fever continues on to Day 2, we mommies must start getting creative.

Little bookworms: I know it sounds simple. And simple enough it is. Sick days are a good time to pick up a huge stack of books from the library and sift through them. Reading is an all time favorite in our house. I usually rotate my stack of books so that in desperate time such as these I pull out old books that suddenly seem exciting. Benefits of reading: The kids sit still for a few moments. Even a few moments such as these add to the process of healing which their tiny little bodies need.

An artistic twist: While I am really not in favor of using water as I do believe that the kids end up playing with the water more than anything else, still I believe painting is the most relaxing thing ever! Most moms like handing over crayons and color pencil to ease up the cleaning procedure. I however believe painting is the 'no pressure' name of the game!  The holding of the brush, the ease at which the colors fill the paper and the joy of mixing up colors makes for very playful moments. Especially when your little munchkins are sick, you should really try this form of art. Usually, I too sit down with them with a piece of paper and the colors. A complete de-stresser even for us mamas!

Playing around with Play-doh: Making and playing with play-doh can be a very entertaining and very engaging form of play. The making part involves a lot of effort but the kids love mixing the colors and watching the dough form. Once the dough it ready, it makes for several hours of quiet play time. A relaxing and calming down activity with plenty of brain stimulation! My munchkins love the mixing and the rolling and forming of all kinds of shapes and structures. And I love that I can get them to sit still for a few hours while the medicines and warm fluids do their magic.

Hot soups and warm breads: Sick season is also the time for plenty of soups. Thankfully both the little ones love soups.  Usually I would not let anyone with the colds and sniffles into the kitchen. However desperate times call for desperate measures and one good way of getting the munchkins focus off their aching bodies is getting them to help our in making their own soups and breads. So the munchkins get to watch the dough for bread being mixed, they get to work on their own shapes of bread. Involving the kids in the cooking process also helps the appetite increase at a time when food consumption does become a challenge.

A few soothing tunes: Music works like magic! It is true and few soothing tones are good to help the little ones fall of to sleep. A little music and a little swaying around also helps the bonding between mommy and baby which is very essential during those fevers and chills. Body contact is essential for the healing of our little ones body and music just adds a little masala to this beautiful process. So turn on those comforting notes and help your munchkin relax.

Getting clever: I am not a big fan of leaving the TV on especially when the Z and I are sick. I feel the blinking light from the TV does more harm then benefit. I try to avoid animated series as they are more flashy. But I have stack full of National geographic videos with calm scenery or whales jumping over water. I find these very soothing and the kids love watching the animals. On sick days this is my back up especially if I start to feel the body ache and runny nose entering my immune system as well.


While I totally dislikes the flu and cold season, I know that is a great part of growing up. In being restful our children learn to react to their bodies. They learn to listen to their bodies. They learn to entertain themselves through calm and quiet activities.