Read to me mommy! A million times more

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Read more: The Sound Of Music - My Favorite Things (maria) Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Reading has been by far our favorite thing to do together. I remember reading Isaac his very first book when he was 3 months old. By age 9 months, I could leave Isaac in any corner of the house with a stack of board book and find him flipping through them when I returned 15 minutes later. 

I slacked a little with Ziva when she was a new born. But in the last year made up for it by reading to her books from Isaac's age group. She used to be a poor listener but now has patience of a 5-year-old listening to books I read to Isaac and answering questions I ask him.

Every day is read to me day. With Isaac now reading, I occasionally find him pouring over pages trying to figure out words and put together sentences. But we still sit together and devour books. I love the books as much as they do.

But I can never forget where we started. There were those first few books that got me started and kept me going. I love reading and have read several books more than once. But in the past 5 years there have been a few books I have read a few million times plus or minus a few thousands here and there.

Its the books that would calm the cranky sick baby. 

Its the books that would keep the wriggly wiggly baby calm in my lap as I sat through church. 

Its the books that would make an impatient toddler settle in his car sear for a six-hour drive to Timbuktu.

Its the books that would keep the little one sitting still on the potty with a mommy sitting close by with fingers crossed hoping that today would be the day that her little one would finally get trained.

Its the books that made nap time easier and wake up times happier.

These are my list of favorite baby/toddler/ pre-schooler books. I still have these, my fiver year old still ravages through them and so I am not sharing!!!

Good night moon by Maragret Wise Brown

The silliest little rhyme there is to be found. But the loveliest little lullaby to put both mommy and baby to sleep. This was the first book I ready to Isaac. We still read it and we still love it! When I read it to Ziva, I found a new perspective : ' Look for the mouse in each page' and just like that I the book found new meaning to my second born. Love it

Runaway bunny by Maragret Wise Brown

Another lovely book by the same author of Good night moon. This one makes you want to hug your little toddler closer as they look to runaway! Both Isaac and Ziva loved listening to how I would run and catch them where ever they went!

Big Red Barn by Maragret Wise Brown

Again from the author of Good night moon comes a story about all the barn animals. Lovely little rhyme about the farm from dawn to dusk. Lovely little wake up son or lullaby!

Barnyard dance by Sandra Boyton

This crazy book, could possibly be Isaac and Ziva's introduction to a rap song!  A fun book to rhyme and rap and dance with.

The going to bed book  by Sandra Boyton

Another book form the author of Barnyard Dance and a perfect glance into the life of the animals in Noah's Ark. Love the imagination of the author on what all the animals must have done on the Ark before they went to sleep.

Time for bed  by Mem Fox

The sweetest way to say good night to my little ones. A sweet way to convince them to close their sleepy eyes and hug and kiss mommy goodnight.

Hush little baby a folk song

This is Ziva's favorite. From age 18 months till recently every night Suresh would sing this song to close the day.

They say its never too early to sing or read to a child and I would say its never to late to read these books to your little one. To all the mommies who read the same book millions times - I salute you!
#EveryDayIsMothersDay

#MothersDay

Motherhood : An instinct or a calling ?

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright.
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

 It seemed like the days were going from bad to worse. He seemed to wake up every morning and get into a foul mood in a matter of seconds. I was not sure what I was doing wrong. Was this terrible fours? But by age four their mood swings were supposed to settle down. Why then was he getting grumpier by the day?
I began to think I was a terrible mother. But then why was it only my older one getting the whiners! Isaac seemed to be taking issues with almost about anything that was happening or about to happen! Ziva seemed fine and she was the one who should have been in her terrible twos' mood swings!

A brief description of the personalities of my two kids. It’s hard to believe that they both started from my womb because they are poles apart. Ziva is expressive and exuberant. Isaac is the silent killer type. I would not say either of them are introverts but the way they show their affection is so different. Ziva was willing to hug and kiss me anytime. But Isaac felt security in just coming and holding my hand.

If Ziva fell, she needed to be picked up and hugged and she spent at least 5 minutes hiding her face in my neck shedding her tears there. Isaac on the other hand would let out a strong frustrated yelp when he got hurt. Then he would settle down on his own. As a result he got hugged a lot less.

I have never realized how important it was for children to have body contact with mothers. But now that I look at the personalities of my children, I realize that the science and logic behind the ‘hug’ is far under-rated.

Ziva did not get hugs because she was cute, but rather because she demanded it in her own pleasant way. Isaac on the other hand needed the hugs but did not get enough of it because of his pseudo-independent personality.

Some say motherhood is a ‘calling’. I think motherhood is an ‘instinct’ and HUGS are a ‘calling’. The ‘instinct’ is because I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone who would mildly hurt my child physically or emotionally. The ‘calling’ because I need to know when exactly to provide that emotional and physical security my little one needs even if he doesn’t demand it.

Our morning routines usually involved Ziva coming down on her own when she woke up and running into our arms for a hug. Isaac on other hand lay in bed for several minutes in his own world (probably redefining the laws of physics and motion!). When I called out to him to come down he would come and sit at the table to drink milk. No hugs!  No 'Good Mornings'!

Then one morning I happened to go upstairs to pick up something and found him awake, in his dream world. I picked him up and gave him a long tight hug and a few seconds later I felt his arms tightening around me as he enjoyed the mommy-and-him moment. I knew I had struck a chord. My motherhood 'calling'  knew that this ‘hug’ was the answer to all the mood swings and craziness. I knew my calling was to make sure he got all the hugs he needed.

Our days began to pick up. Every morning involved big wake up 'Good morning' and long pauses in busy morning schedules to just hug each other. We now even do a group hug (Isaac, Ziva and Me).
Our afternoon naps begin with a 'Happy napping' call. Our days end with 'Good night' and long tight hugs before we all pass out into sweet dreams. Adding to the lullaby in the beginning

Ten little fingers, Ten little toes
Two ears, One little nose
Two little eyes that shine so bright
Two little arms that hug so tight
And one little mouth to Kiss mother Good night!

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/through-my-mothers-eyes/article/motherhood-an-instinct-or-a-calling

The New Generation - Things we never said to our parents

I find my son and daughter telling me things. Things that make me wonder 'Did I ever say that to my mother or father'. I am not a lovy dovy person. I am totally practical. They way I show my love is by doing things for you. Like picking up your socks or baking a cake!
But these two little munchkins come up with the perfect liners at the perfect time that make you want to hold your chest and say 'Oh My do I really deserve this LOVE'.
My top five favorites are
1. 'I love you Amma': I don't believe I every told my parents I loved them. Maybe  they felt it when I was obedient or did as they told me (which was not very often either). But come the new Generation and I get so many 'I love you's'. And its not only about the 'I love you's', its the timing. Usually its when either I walk in to the door or when Isaac or Ziva walk in after a park visit. A hug and and 'I love you' and the days is perfect! Makes every day fell like Mothers Day #EveryDayIsMothersDay #MothersDay

2. 'I miss you Amma': I never said this to my parents. Even when I saw them after a 3 month long summer vacation where me and my sister were packed off to Kerala to be with our grandparents. Its not that I did not miss them - its just  - I guess our generation. But with Isaac and Ziva even a 15 minutes trip to the grocery store and back and I get a 'I missed you Amma'. Heart melting and reaching for the tissue box.

3. 'Don't take for so long OK' : This is another version of the ' I miss you'. As I was packing my bag for a baking course I was planning on spending the whole Saturday at, I go this little piece of advise ' Amma don't take for so long OK - come back soon'.  Whether it was the sweetness in the structure of the sentence or the innocence with which it was said I don't know! Its  just makes me seem so special! #EveryDayIsMothersDay

4. 'Have fun Amma!' : This was right after I sat Isaac and Ziva down for a conversation on how I would go for a baking class and learn to make yummy things for them. They listened very carefully as I told them to be good and not trouble Appa. As I got ready to walk out of the door I got this call 'Have fun Amma'. 

5. Classic: This is probably the one that goes on top of the list. It was a conversation between me and Ziva that I should have recorded. Three and half year old Ziva had just watched 'Cinderella' with her cousins. As she was playing with her dolls back home I heard her say
' Yes Step mother'. I stopped
' Ziva who is the step mother' . Ziva coyly responded
' Cinderella's mother'
' Am a step mother' I asked wondering what she understood about a step mother.
' No step mother gets very angry' Ziva responded
' I get very angry Ziva' I edged her on
' Yes but you get very angry and then you get very happy with me. '
It seemed like the most philosophical way of explaining to a three year old about the mother who loved her and therefore had to correct her. She gave my mother skill justification and a guarantee stamp with those innocent word!

#EveryDayIsMothersDay and #MothersDay

This blog is written for a mother's day blogging contest New Generation

Surviving post-partum depression - My story!

A few years ago, I was attending a stitching class with two other ladies. As the conversation drifted we suddenly found ourselves talking about depression. Specifically the kind you feel after you have had a baby. Post-partum depression in complicated words!
 As we ran a poll, I realized that among the four ladies in the room, three of us had felt some magnitude of depression after the arrival of our little ones. That is 75 % of women. (My statistics!). Of the three of us, two had sought some form of help in regards to this depression. That's 66%. I was the moron who had thought that I was too strong and could overcome this 'Phase' in life. I think its God's grace that I survived and made it this far!

The first question that most will have is  'How did you know you were having post-partum depression?' Well I was depressed , had lost interest in most everything and have occasionally considered hurting myself.  I felt listless most of the time and lacked any drive to get things done. I am not writing this because I want sympathy. I am writing this because I am sure there are tons of new moms who are not sure why they are feeling what they are feeling. More importantly I want to share how I got through some of my struggles

As I analyze my state in that time, I realized that the following definitely contributed toward my depressed state of mind. 
1. We had just moved with a new born baby and a toddler. The move was huge and I was not as prepared as I had thought I was.  DH was starting a new job and needed to spend a lot of time at work. This left me alone, with two human-beings who could not carry out a sane conversation with me, giving my mind a chance to play all kinds of games.
2. I did not have enough help. Two kids with an age difference of 22 months, I needed all the help I could get and yet I could not find it. When I did get it (i.e. found the best nanny in the world) it took me 9 months to trust her alone with my kids. After all these was my babies and they were my responsibility.
3. I did not get enough rest. I went back to work 3 months after baby #1 and we moved to India from the US - 2 months after baby #2. I had pneumonia - 1 week after I joined work post baby #1 and baby #1 had RSV and was hospitalized for 3 days a day after I started my pneumonia antibiotics. I see moms in India take long rests post delivery and 7 month maternity leaves and I think 'Why the heck did I not do that?'
4. I made my life child-centric. I refused to do anything that I could not take my children along with. As a result my life became about me and the babies and the world outside stopped. It was like a disaster waiting to happen.
5. I started gaining weight. While with baby #1 I had managed to stay fit post delivery, eating oats and drinking lots of milk. With baby # 2, I was in India, the land of Gulab jamun and fried 'Wadas'. I started to gain weight at the sight of these foods. Putting on weight... while you have nothing else going on in life, can really take that rock bottom self-esteem and drop it in deep oceans.
6. I did not seem to have time for anything other than the kiddos. When one was sleeping, the other was awake and the cycle continued. This gave me no time for myself. No time to read/watch TV or just be!

I wish I had sought help. But it was when I hit rock bottom that I even realized I was depressed. Till that point I thought it was hormonal and it would go away. One frustrated afternoon I broke down in front of DH crying and pouring out my heart on the way I felt. I think I left him very flustered. The biggest help you need while going through post-partum is your DH to actually know that you are depressed. He was shocked to even think I was depressed. Once I had DH on my side, things started taking an uphill turn!
1. I started to wake up early in the morning and DH would watch the kids if either of them woke up before 7 am. I would read! I started to cycle and I just enjoyed the clearing of my head the morning gave me. The cycling help me loose some of my baby fat and it almost gave me a goal to achieve!
2. I started to look for things to do outside the home. My only condition was that I would not leave the kids at home alone with the maid. DH had to be at home. Bangalore has plenty to do on weekends and so I found opportunities like baking, stitching and painting.
3. I started blogging. I was able to pour out my frustration and achievements over a white screen and it surely helped my head!

Now two years later, I am on constant watch for mood swings. I look for ways and means to lift myself up and I take a break when I need it. This does not involve running away from home, but it does involve being by myself.

When I see moms with newborns the advise I give is please take as much help as you can get. Help from in-laws, help from your parents, a nanny, a cook , whatever you can afford for at least a year.
And most important tell DH when you start to feel crazy in your head!

Quoting Aunty Acid!!!!

The advantages of becoming a PARENT!

I have seen several articles about how it is beneficial to have children. But I dont think I have seen anyone talk about the benefits of turning into parents. If you think its one and the same thing, think again. Having children is not the same as becoming a parent!
We live in a generation where people think a hundred times before having children. There is a lot of fear associated with it. Stability, maturity, responsibility and of course the key one Independence, all of these go out of sync! Yet in the previous generation no one gave it a second thought. It seemed like a routine of life. Like you went to school when you grew up, so you had children after you got married.
Highlight: Marriages lasted a lot longer in that generation. The women of that generation seemed content and the men never really had severe health issues till they hit their late 50's.
But forget the previous generation or even everyone around, when I look at myself, I see a tremendous change in me since I have become a parent. Not since I had a child! But since I became a Parent.

Emotional ecosystem: I used to really only think about myself. I know, selfish right!  But becoming a parent, I realized that there was someone who depended on me entirely. I had to think about the world beyond me. My emotional ecosystem started to expand to include strangers I never would have spoken to otherwise. I started to care about the mother who had a baby in her car seat in the next car while I was driving mine. I started to show sympathy to the father who had to handle the tantrums of his child in the shopping mall. I willingly let families with little children step in front of me in a line either at the grocery store or while paying bills.
While we think we become an emotional nutcase, we are actually forming a better world through our caring new nature in the role of  PARENT. 

Mega-Maturity: If you think you are not mature, become a parent. All kinds of maturity starts squirting out of your ears and noes. No! Not the kind that causes you to talk about politics or the civil system. But the kind people call 6th sense. Your maturity increases in the safety of your child and family. Your maturity increases as you make purchases. You maturity increases as you start saving up for a future.
Its almost like you gain a super-power called Maturity!

From Junkier to Healthier: While there are times when I think I am going to have a heart-attack watching my children jump from the swing, becoming a parent definitely caused me to become healthier. For one thing  I know I need more energy and that does not come from lazing around. I realized that the more I exercise the more I  had energy to keep up with the munchkin. As I became a parent, I started obsessing about if the kids were eating a balanced diet. As a result the table was filled only with healthy balanced products. Colas were less frequent and boiled broccoli came up more often.

Freakish Financial Freedom: As a single person or even when we were married and without kids, I never thought about more than the immediate need. We literally splurged all our money every month. We saved up for immediate usage. If I need a car -- I saved up and usually spent more than what I saved in the knowledge that I would not burden anyone or that I could pay it off in a month or two.  But after becoming a parent, I started thinking of long terms plans. Not just buying a house, but paying it off completely! I was saving for retirement. I was putting aside money in a group called 'emergency funds'. I had health and life insurance. I thought about investment in mutual funds that pulled a chunk of money that pinched every year! But at the end of it we were never living from month to month and always had money stuck in little pockets (well Accounts really) that could be pulled out in an urgent situation.

Rabidly Responsible: I remember loving to drive my car to 'Empty' tank and I even remember having to call my DH to bring gas over! I never do that anymore. With two kids in the car, I am constantly watching petrol tank to make sure I am stocked for my drive away from home and back! I did not just buy a car, I made every effort to maintain it. That's not love for my car that's called being a responsible parents. Since becoming a parent, I pay my bill ahead of time not on the last date, I have a well stocked kitchen and pantry and my refrigerator always has butter to whip up cakes and brownies. This not only makes me a responsible parent but also a great host, who always has brownies warm and ready!

Most of us parents think we are doing a favor by raising our kids but if you actually look at all the above we have a lot to be thankful for becoming parents - something that would not be possible without our little munchkins!

You never know what's happening in some ones life - Courtesy of a Police Officer

This was back when Isaac was about 6 months and we were in the US. Suresh was jetting back and forth, trying to be with his sick mother in India and keeping up with work
Life was a turmoil. I was working and trying to get a hold of household chores. Luckily my mother was around to help with Isaac. It was still hard. I had to walk the dogs and I remember taking Isaac on the baby Bjorn with two leashes on hand just so my mom would get a break.
I drove, and so that solved a lot of issues like grocery shopping or getting to church. We did not have to rely on anyone for transportation.
On one trip home, late one evening, the following incident took place.
I was driving up the main interstate and merging onto a road close to home. In the US, laws are strict and when you merge you need to ensure that you let the traffic on the road go first before you join. I did not see the dark car and did not halt at the intersection before I merged. I heard the loud horn and I was so flustered that I lifted my hands in frustration. Some 3 seconds later, I saw the flashing lights. I had just cut off a cop and then showed him my frustration.
Now in the US, when a cop flashes the lights you pull over to the side of the road. I was terrified. My mom was sitting in the back seat and she started to pray. In the US, you sit in your car and wait for the cop to approach your car. As I waited I  started to think - God do I really need this right now! He came and knocked on my window. I rolled my window down and the cop said 'license and registration mam'. Even as he said this he glanced at the back seat to a cute and cuddly Isaac chewing on his teething toys and making happy sounds - completely oblivious that mommy had been pulled over. The cop glanced back at me and then back at the car seat and my mom sitting in the back looking terrified.
As I handed over my license I only said one thing 'I am so sorry!' I am not sure whether it was the baby, the lack of a man in the car or the pure desperation of our current state in life that showed on my face but all he said was 'hmmmm'.
I knew I was not going to get anything more than a ticket. Maybe 100 -200 dollars. But it would just make the day so much more miserable. And then what would go on my license record 'Cut of cop and raised hands in frustration - i.e. Anger issues'. As we waited, the cop went back to his car to pull up my records and check the car details.
It took a just 10 minutes, but its felt like a lifetime and Isaac was starting to get fidgety in a stationary car. The cop returned. ' Mam I am not going to give you a ticket. But please be more careful when you drive. You have a child with you'.
I think I was going to cry. 'Thank you! - thank you so much'.
I don't remember that cops face or his name or what color uniform he wore (brown or blue). But what I do remember is, his courtesy made that evening so much better for me, my son and my mother.
A few days later I heard my mom relate the incident to my aunt over the phone 'They have so much concern for our children' is what she said as she ended the conversation.

Two bags and a BABY - travelling with the kids

I do not like travel. I am terrified of it you could say! Even before I had kids I did not enjoy the flight motion or the fact that I needed to stay away from 'my' comfortable bed. Leaving the home meant leaving a routine and I am a big routine person. Once the kids arrived I started stressing even more.
Our first big travel after Z arrived was a long journey to India. I still remember holding a two month old in a Baby Bjorn and trying to push the stroller which help my 22 month old Isaac. It has gotten better since then and I have learned a lot of lessons on how to prepare the kids for travel day. Here is my 'vishesh tippany' (Special Advise). I hope other mommies find it useful
Prep them up: They are never too small to understand anything. From as little as 3 months you can talk or read to your little one. There are so many books on trains, planes and boats. Show these to your child. Make an origami paper plane. Make airplane and train sounds to get them excited. When they are older you can probably speak with them on how much time it takes to get there or what to do when your ear starts hurting. I remember Z and I on a trip to Bombay opening and closing their mouth like little fishes.
Travel light: As light as you can possibly do. DH very often says 'Take you passport and your wallet - you can buy everything else'. Well when we were sans kids this seemed to be fair advice. But with kids   the are definitely a few essentials. Most flight food is bland and so you may be able to survive with it. But if you have a baby you definitely to carry the mashed up stuff. And then there are few essentials like the extra pair of clothes or two and the diapers and the wipes. While most of these may be available at the airport it is good to pack these in a diaper bag.
Snack ideas: Don't go for the oily stuff. Carry fruits that the kids can snack on or raisins or dry cereal that they like eating. On one flight from Bangalore to Mumbai , I and Z got excited about the food being given in the plane and started eating all kinds of stuff : rice, bread with butter, juice etc. It was a bumpy landing and at the terminal we were holding a  newspaper full of throw-up. Z had brought up everything she had eaten. That's another thing, accidents happen!  I learned my lesson and now I ask for a barf bag as soon as I get on a flight. Carry plastic bags for train or car trips in case the kids get sick.
Carry on luggage: While traveling with kids make sure you have kid friendly carry-on luggage. You need both your hands and more to help them out. So the ideal carry on luggage is haversack on your shoulders.
Travel timing: Whenever we drive, we try to plan it around sleep time. DH and I are morning people so we make sure we leave at 4 in the morning. This give us a good 3 hours of time before the kids wake up. It is peaceful driving! I choose flight timings too based on whether there is a chance they will take a nap on the flight.

Bassinet/Seat: Most international flight have the option of a bassinet. This was so useful when traveling with a 2 month old Z who slept most of the time. I did not need to hold her. I could just put her in the bassinet. Some international flights let you take car seats and my kids are great at sleeping in the car seat. But this is only useful if you need the car seat on the other end of the trip i.e. like traveling to the US.
Security Check: This is the most annoying part of flight travel even when you travel alone. You have to remove laptop and other things before going through the security. If you have two kids running around crazy it becomes so much harder. The key again here is to travel light. Take only essentials. Declare out stuff like water for the kids or food that you need to carry for them. Most Security Checks go smoother when you have told them everything you have in your bag. I usually go there and remove everything on the small trays they provide.
Entertainment: Whether it is the railway station or the airport there is plenty to entertain the kids. Keep them occupied. At railway stations we usually walk up and down looking at engines and other fun stuff. Some airports have children's play area. On our travel to Singapore we discovered this play area and it entertained the kids for 45 minutes as we waited to board our flight. On flight we usually have some videos stocked on a fully charged laptop and this definitely helps keep them calm. One thing Isaac loves doing is walking around the flight. If its a relatively big flight, this may not be such a bad idea. A few trips around the cabin and maybe the little one will tire themselves to fall asleep. Car trips are usually passed by lots of books to ready, good music and maybe in desperate situations a tablet with some kiddie games on it.

The best way though to get I and Z excited about travel is to talk to them about who they are going to meet at the other end of the travel or what all they may see at the end of the travel. It makes the travel and adventure full of excitement.